Eau De Toilet

If you have a classic woman’s fragrance – one that brings to mind style, sophistication and polish – and you want to put a fresh perspective on it, you should go down to the bus station, pick the sexiest one of the passed out drunks, put him immediately on camera and don’t hand him a script. Because that’s what Chanel No. 5 did in their latest ad campaign. Okay, that’s not really a homeless person, it’s Brad Pitt looking like he smells like a homeless person. Coco’s grave just spun to the surface.

Brad is the first male spokesmodel for Chanel No. 5. Great choice, because when I look at him up there, I get an immediate urge to spray lots of perfume. Even more amazing than the image though, is the pure poetry spewing forth from Brad’s please-Chapstick-me-bitch lips.

“It’s not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on. The world turns and we turn with it. Plans disappear, dreams take over. But wherever I go, there you are. My luck, my fate, my fortune. Chanel No.5. Inevitable.”

I’ll have to wait till I get home and get really stoned to understand any of that, but I’m sure it’s deep. Michael K summed up the entire vibe perfectly: “I hope in honor of Brad being their new face, they come out with a bong version of the bottle.”