Snappy Snaps Beware, George Michael Is Out Of Jail

George Michael’s jail cell door swung open today and he was allowed to skip on out after serving half of his 8-week sentence for busting into a Snappy Snaps while under the influence of weed. George Michael has had a lot of time to think about his life choices without a bong winking at him to give it a blow or without the night wind summoning him outside for an al fresco blow job, so he told reporters in front of his home in London that he is turning a new leaf. And no, he doesn’t mean that he’s trying a new strain. George said:

“I’m coming out here on my own so that you’ll realize I just want to start again. I’m going to try to stop running away from you guys. You’ll get sick of me. You’ll see me out and about.

I just want to say thank you for everybody who has supported me in there, it’s quite inspirational.

By the way, I’ve just thought of a really good idea for a song. It’s going to be nothing to do with prison.”

Please tell me George Michael is singing the new theme song for Snappy Snaps.

And what’s with this “You’ll see me out and about” shit? That’s what his problem was in the first place! Instead of eating green smoke while getting munched by a Grindr hook-up in the comfort of his own home, bitch was out doing it while driving!