Open Post: Hosted By Soy Jizzum

Thanks to Rosanna Scotto of Fox5 in NYC, today’s phrase that pays is: SOY JIZZUM! Try using it in a sentence today. Example: When your abuelita asks you how you’re doing, simply say, “SOY JIZZUM!” Or don’t. That might be awkward.

In other news, the open post is going up early today because I have to run my dog to the vet. Dude has got the ills. He didn’t eat anything yesterday and that is saying everything. Unlike me, he will eat a vegetable if I put it under his mouth. But when I tried to give him a piece of turkey last night, he threw me shade. And he’s been crying in pain all morning. I shouldn’t have read him that story about the memaw fucking on her grandson. He will never be the same again.

Anyway, I’ll be back!

UPDATE: Thanks to everyone’s comments and concerns about my sick ass dog! 2 hours and $300 later, the vet didn’t find shit! They ran x-rays, checked his blood and gave him fluids. They told me to bring him back if he doesn’t eat by tomorrow. My dog acted totally normal at the vet too. Dude was just trying to make me look crazy in front of the vet. I threw him a “Do you have Münchausen syndrome?” side-eye the entire time! And then when we got home, he started screaming in pain again! Maybe it’s his way of telling me that he’s sick of my trick ass. Well, he’s stuck with me. That’s that.

(Thanks to everyone who sent this in)