David Letterman Says He’s Sorry…Again

David Letterman opened his show tonight with an apology to his wife and staff for dipping his dick pen into the vagina of several of his employees. Dave took a few pokes at himself before saying he’s sowwy to the ole’ wife unit Regina Lasko.

Dave apparently told the audience: “She has been horribly hurt by my behavior, and when something happens like that, if you hurt a person and it’s your responsibility, you try to fix it. At that point, there’s only two things that can happen: Either you’re going to make some progress and get it fixed, or you’re going to fall short and perhaps not get it fixed, so let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me.”

“I’m terribly sorry that I put the staff in that position. Inadvertently, I just wasn’t thinking ahead. And, moreover, the staff here has been wonderfully supportive to me, not just through this furor, but through all the years that we’ve been on television and especially all the years here at CBS, so, again, my thanks to the staff for, once again, putting up with something stupid I’ve gotten myself involved in.”

For some reason, I thought maybe Regina allowed Dave’s peen to run free through the fields of his interns’ crotch areas, but it sounds like that wasn’t the case. It also sounds like Dave’s going to have to go through a few “Smell Yo Dick” moments from Regina. I feel for Regina, because who would want to sniff at Dave’s fuck parts on a nightly basis? Regina should look into getting a pussy juice sniffin’ dog.