Pay Yo Bills: The Pamela Anderson Edition

Pamela Anderson is broke down in more ways than one. Apparently, Pamela has the creditors knocking at her door and burning up her phone. Pammy is probably doing all the shit we do when the bill collectors come to get paid: hide in bushes, pretend not to know English and offer to lick their peen holes for payment.

According to Star Magazine, Pamela owes nearly $1.2 million to contractors for work they did on her Malibu mansion last year. They want their money! Jay Bruder of Bruder Construction said Pam owes his company $674k for “for labor and materials and subcontractors to remodel main house, construct foundations for guest house.” Jay added, “A lot of people are owed a lot of money.” Jim Brown, whose company also worked on Pammy’s house, said, “Putting food on the table isn’t easy in this economy. When someone doesn’t pay their bills, it’s that much harder!”

The California Franchise Tax Board is also waiting to see a check from Pamela for $252,360.

Pamela obviously isn’t spending her hard-fucked cash on clothes, so all of her money must going to keep her eyebrow game in check. Having the eyebrows of a cholita villain who sometimes dabbles in meth during the twilight hours doesn’t come cheap! I guess it’s time for Pamela to hike up her roast beef hash curtains and leak another sex tape! I didn’t mean that. OH GOD, I didn’t mean that.

While Pamela’s creditors can’t feed their children, she’s off in New Zealand debuting her new fashion line with Richie Richie. Um. We should all file a class-action copyright infringement lawsuit against Pammy for stealing our fashion designs from when we were 6-years old. We all wrapped a sheet ourselves and pretended it was a dress. If ho had a dime, she’d be hearing from my lawyers: Scooby Doo & Associates.

And they should have had six cranes holding up that bunk ass sheet dress, because if it dropped, hundreds of eyeballs would have DIED.