Tommy Girl Roasts Matt Lauer

Tommy Girl sashayed to the Hilton Hotel in NYC today for Matt Lauer’s Friar Club Roast. Tommy was probably embarrassed when he walked in wearing his little sailor boy outfit and carrying his lucky heated anal probe. Sadly, he didn’t really understand what they meant by “roasting Matt Lauer.”

Tommy turned his frown upside down, put on his big boy clothes and took the stage anyway. He’s such a good sport. UsWeekly reports:

“Matt and I talk two, three, four times a day,” Cruise, 46, joked during the Friar Club Roast at the New York Hilton Hotel.

Cruise also jokingly blamed Lauer for Katie Couric decision to leave the Today show to go to CBS. The actor also made fun of Lauer’s day job. “I get to go from international locations to movie sets to more international locations to movie sets,” Cruise said. “You have found happiness doing the same thing every day. You sit on a couch all day and interview the car from Knight Rider and cook radishes with Rachael Ray!”

Before he stepped off stage, he snipped, “I can’t believe I flew all the way out here…lose my number, you glib putz.”

“Why don’t you sit down?” Lauer shot back. “We’ll get you a booster seat!“

AHAHA! That Tommy Girl is a tiny bag of laughs! He probably leaves his best girlfriend John Travolta in stitches! No, I’m serious. He really leaves him in stitches. Tommy’s heated anal probe is no joke.

Since that whole “making movies” thing really isn’t working out for Tommy, he should grab his joke writer and join The Queens of Comedy!