Amber Rose, 34, has confirmed that she and 21 Savage, 25, are over. Sort of. During an appearance on radio show Big Boy’s Neighborhood (via Bossip), the Slut Walk spokeswoman explained that she and er, 21 are no longer a couple. Their break-up doesn’t mean that she’s not still madly in love with him. In fact, she’s so madly deeply, so incredibly sprung, has caught so many feelings over Mr. Savage, that she claims she hung on to a pair of his drawers and sniffs the crotch area daily. As our male readers note how sweaty downstairs can get during a working day and how they wouldn’t let a woman they HATE smell the crotch of their end-of-the-day panties out of a reflexive concern for human life, let’s recognize what Amber’s confession means. It means REAL LOVE.
Amber says if you’re not snorting up the combined nose bouquet of stray pubes, the last few drops of piss that end up in a guy’s underwear despite the customary shake, and other unmentionable but possible odors, THEN YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT REAL LOVE!
“I still sniff em [his old draws], I was just sniffing em before I got here. I miss that motherfucker. If you don’t love the smell of your man’s private area, then you don’t really love him.”
So true. (21 Savage must have the cleanest nutsack in history.) Amber says they are no longer together but it’s just “a rough patch.”
“We’re just having a rough patch, it’s just very fresh. I could never say that I’m single because I don’t feel single, I still love him.”
Kanye West’s alleged former booty poker (bet she didn’t treasure THAT smell) blames fame for their not-quite-a-breakup.
“To be in a relationship is difficult, to be famous and in a relationship is even more difficult and then you end up arguing about things that you usually wouldn’t argue about as a normal person,” said Amb. “I love him, I miss him, I think about him every day. I can’t say that I’m single because I still think about him every day. My heart is still with him. Hopefully, we can work it out but if we can’t—the love is still there.”
Hopefully, they can work it out. And hopefully, someday there’s a cure for dickmatization. She’s got that. Pray for Amber.
Watch Amber talk about her love for 21 Savage below.