Open Post: Hosted By A Giant Cock

March 20, 2017 / Posted by:

You may have already figured it out from that screen shot, but sadly, this Open Post isn’t hosted by the Hammaconda. You can pull up your chonies and put away that Costco-sized bottle of lube now.

Here I was thinking that either the pussies of the world or the raccoons of the world would soon become our new overlords (and either of them would be a massive upgrade from Jabba the Trump), but lurking in the shadows has been the feathery Godzilla known as the Brahma chicken! Wikipedia says that the Brahma chicken was first created in America, using gigantic birds from Shanghai. Everyone in the olden days ate on a Brahma in the U.S. They were the main type of meat bred for humans to eat from the 1850s until 1930. The Brahma chickens obviously haven’t forgot about that and are ready to avenge the ancestors that ended up in so many American stomachs.

This video of a Brahma chicken named Merakli has been terrorizing the internet. Trick looks like Khloe Kartrashian coming out of the club while wearing head-to-toe marabou feathers. He also looks like one of the Foster Farm chickens after he got hooked on the wrong kind of hormones that were pushed on him by a dealer named Monsanto. Although, I’m not entirely convinced that Merakli isn’t really Shaq in Camilla the Chicken cosplay.

And since Merakli is now a big internet star and live-action movies of cartoons are the thing, I fully expect him to come to Hollywood to star in a thrilling, gritty and dramatic Foghorn Leghorn biopic. And when he comes to Hollywood, I’m sure he’ll woo poultry pin-up bombshell Chicken Cutlets (government name: Phoebe Price) and together they’ll be the it couple of the coop!

Pic: YouTube

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