Shortly after Taylor Swift found out that sugar cookie squad member Selena Gomez was crowned most popular on Instagram, she decided to reassert her position as the alpha by throwing up a whole bunch of pictures of her vacation with her boyfriend of one year Calvin Harris (real name: Adam Richard Wiles) to Instagram. Because screw insane international data roaming rates when you’ve got some attention to yank away from your friend, right?
I don’t know where Taylor and Calvin currently are. But it looks warm and sunny, so they’re clearly not where I currently am (which is cold and rainy and has that weird Springtime worm smell). And since any place is better than where I am, I’m jealous of their vacation. Even though this video pretty much confirmed my theory that being stuck on an island with 26-year-old hyperactive preteen girl Taylor Swift is the opposite of a vacation.
“WATCH! WATCH! ARE YOU WATCHING?” totally sounds like the title of a book about Taylor Swift written by Judy Blume.
Here’s more of Tay Tay and Calvin Harris’ romantic getaway. I’m sure you’re wondering who was taking the pictures of the two of them, since it’s very clear there isn’t another human on that beach for miles. My guess is that they were either taken by Jaime King, who stowed away in one of Taylor Swift’s carry-on bags, or a horny horseshoe crab who wanted to get closer look at Calvin Harris’ crotch.