No, you’re not looking at the money shot from a food play porno sponsored by Key Lime Slime Twinkies. But I’m sure that exists somewhere if that’s the kind of thing that does it for your down-lows. The day that Ghostbusters fans have been waiting for/dreading (depending on what side of the Ghostbusters all-lady reboot argument you’re on) is finally here. Sony released the first official trailer for the new Ghostbusters movie starring Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones earlier today, and it truly has everything. Ghosts. Slime. Wigs. Chris Hemsworth kicking down a door in nerd glasses. A melancholy CGI Victorian ghost that I’m pretty sure is actually Rooney Mara trying her hand at some Andy Serkis-style motion capture.
Overall, I’m into it (Kate McKinnon dressed in Forever 21 Tank Girl drag sold it for me). But I do have two notes:
1. Where’s the ghost blowjob scene?!? Ghostbusters is nothing without a sexy ghost going down on a horny buster.
2. They updated a lot, but for some reason Slimer is still the same old Slimer? This is 2016 New York, not 1984 New York. There’s no way Slimer can still afford to live downtown. Unless Slimer found a way to get rich by injecting himself into the lips of Manhattan socialites, he’s definitely living with 18 strangers in Brooklyn.
I’m also a little shocked they didn’t extend the whole gender-reversal thing to the the surprised ghost in the Ghostbusters logo. Or maybe they did try it, but it ended up looking too much like the undead version of KFC’s sexy chicken nugget from Japan and they didn’t want to get sued.