On the left, we have Mr. Burns’ real-life millionaire old man equivalent, Rupert Murdoch. On the right, we have legendary model and the mother to four of Mick Jagger’s kids, Jerry Hall. And according to The Daily Mail, these two are currently humping on each other. Well, that’s not necessarily an image I needed today, but here we are.
84-year-old Rupert Murdoch retired his last wife, Wendi Deng (remember Wendi Deng?), a little over two years ago, and naturally I assumed he was waiting for an angel in her mid-20s to swoop in and lovingly rub ointment into his bald head while he daydreams of releasing the hounds. But in a strange turn of events, Rupert didn’t go the typical rich old man route and find someone younger than his youngest liver spot. Rupert was recently introduced to 59-year-old Jerry Hall by one of his sisters and they’re apparently really into each other. A close family friend says:
“It’s all very new. They are really enjoying each other’s company very much. He is very fond of her. There is no question that they are a couple.”
Oooh, feel the sizzle coming off that statement. You could roast a turkey under all that heat. Rupert and Jerry (RupHall? NO) haven’t been seen together since they started hooking up, but they plan to go public with their relationship at the Rugby World Cup next week.
As far as I know, Rupert Murdoch is still one of the richest naked mole-rats in the world, yes? If so, then I say get it, Jerry! Get as much of that dusty dick as you can handle. Because the aftertaste of Metamucil powder and lube (that’s how you fix dry old man mouth, right?) is a small price to pay for that private jet life.