Vanessa Williams is supposed to make her grand return to the Miss America pageant on Sunday where she’ll be the head judge and will get her crown reinstated after she was forced to give it up in 1984 over some (NSFW) naked pictures that wouldn’t even make a virgin catholic nun clutch her bib today. Okay, a virgin catholic nun may let out a soft, “santo dios,” after looking at the picture of another woman pretending to tongue polish her wrinkled butt crown.
Back in 1984, Vanessa became the first African American woman to be crowned Miss America and ten months into her reign, she was told that naked girl-on-girl pictures she took before her pageant days were going to be published in Penthouse. Vanessa said that she never signed a release for the pictures and thought they were destroyed. It was a major ESCANDALO at the time and the Miss America Organization pressed her into stepping off of the throne. The runner-up, Suzette Charles, got the crown and is still considered Miss America 1984.
Because it’s the 95th anniversary of the pageant and they want people to watch that shit, they got Vanessa Williams to come back. But TMZ says that there’s a chance she may pull out, because she and the Miss America Organization aren’t agreeing on who should say, “I’m sowwy.”
Vanessa was under the impression that she would come out at the beginning of the show and an official would apologize to her for making her resign and they’d give her a new crown. But during a meeting on Wednesday, the Miss America people let Vanessa know that she got it twisted all the way around. They thought that she would be the one to apologize and they’d forgive her by giving her a new crown. They left the meeting without coming to an agreement and they’re still at odds.
Hmmm… Something in the milk looks like a STUNT.
This feels like a shameless stunt to get us to watch to see who will apologize. Why would Vanessa need to apologize? I don’t even know why she’s going back to the Miss America pageant. (“Um, you know why $$$$he’s going back, bitch.” – you) She’s Vanessa Williams, star of South Beach and A Diva’s Christmas Carol, she doesn’t need that shit. The only reason Vanessa should go back is so she can sashay onto the stage while singing (to the tune of “There She Is Miss America“), “Heeeeere I aaaaaaaaam….to tell all of you to fuck off for and once and for all!”
And here’s Vanessa at the opening of the US Open (where Serena just lost and I blame Wheelchair Jimmy) on September 1st.