InTouch Weekly is letting the Duggars know that they got their number, hussy, and they can’t stop, won’t stop digging through Michelle Duggar’s White Rain-covered hair of secrets. The Duggars want everyone to think that all the investigations against them closed centuries ago and everything is just Chili Frito Pie and pickles now. But InTouch is on them and they say that on May 27th, just a few days after Josh Duggar admitted that he molested his sisters when he was a teenager, Washington County DHS showed up at the Duggar home and asked to speak to one of the five hundred children. The Duggars refused and so DHS called 911 on their asses.
InTouch once again used the Freedom of Information Act (“More like the’ Freedom 2 Terrorize Good Chris-CHUNS Act!‘” – Jim Bob Duggar) to get a hold of the 911 call that the DHS official made after the Duggars wouldn’t cooperate.
After identifying himself as a Washington Country DHS employee and stating the Duggar family address, the caller tells the 911 operator, “We have an investigation and I guess they’re not being cooperative. We have to see the child to make sure the child is all right. So we just need police assistance.”
DHS records are sealed to the eyes of the public, so InTouch doesn’t know the exact reason for why child services wanted to talk to a specific Duggar child. DHS could have been following up on a call to their hotline. DHS will pay a visit to a family if someone calls into the child abuse hotline and the operator feels like the allegation is serious enough to look into.
DHS should just go ahead and set up an office right next to the Duggar compound since they’ll probably have to go there every single day. Or better yet, they should just set up an office in Michelle Duggar’s giant fall of crunchy curls. She won’t notice! If she accidentally hits a DHS worker with her comb while teasing her hair, she’ll just say, “Oh, it’s just one of those gosh darn secrets. Lalala,” and keep it moving.
In other Duggars news, the state of Maryland has declared today a holiday and people are front-hugging in the streets while celebrating, because they are now Josh Duggar-free. Josh Duggar has packed up his family and is moving back to Arkansas. Since he no longer has a job in DC, there’s no need for him to be there. Entertainment Tonight also says that Josh hired Steve Nield, the bodyguard who allegedly wet bumped with Kate Gosselin, to protect him. Um, okay, but if anybody in that family needs a protective guard it’s the younger Duggar children and by that I mean they need Jesus to take the wheel and drive them far, far away.