If you’re sitting there thinking “Wait, wasn’t he supposed to be humping on Lisa Bonet Jr.?“, that’s Chris Pine. Don’t worry, I get the two of them confused too.
The last time we checked in on Chris Evans, aka Captain America, aka Jake Wyler from Not Another Teen Movie, he was redefining the word random by maybe rubbing his hot jacked-up down-lows on Sandra Bullock. Well, I guess things didn’t work out between the two of them (he couldn’t get his load blowing speed up to 50 miles per hour), because the Daily Star (via Daily Mail) says he might have moved on to “lad mag” model type Lucy Pinder. Chris and Lucy were spotted on a date at Disneyland back in January, and her friends say that he’s really into her. A rep for Lucy declined to comment on whether or not her client and Captain America are doing it.
Those two must really like each other, because going to Disneyland on a date is the definition of playing life on expert mode. It’s like going to IKEA, except much worse. I’ve been to Disneyland on a date twice, and both times ended with the words “Fuck this Haunted Mansion bullshit, I’m going to get a Dole Whip.” Spending the whole day in a noisy maze constructed to make you buy shit and/or drive you crazy with no booze is one thing, but sharing that experience with another person is truly a test of your sanity. So congratulations, you two, for not feeling the urge to push the other one overboard during the Pirates of the Caribbean ride; I salute you.