For those of you thinking “Harpo, who dis woman-looking piece of salt water taffy??“, Meghan Trainor is the girl who sings that “All About That Bass” song that’s been assaulting your eardrums for several weeks. She also appears to be what you’d get if a 7th Heaven-era Ashlee Simpson queefed on a bag of Bunny Mix M&Ms. Or a come-to-life sidewalk chalk picture of a birthday cake.
Either way, 20-year-old Meghan Trainor admitted to Billboard that even thought she’s all about that body positivity and loving yourself and shit, she doesn’t want you to think it’s because she’s a feminist (cut to Emma Watson face-palming so hard she leaves a permanent hand-print in her forehead):
Now, Trainor has become a model of self-acceptance for kids across the globe. “I got up at six this morning to reply to fan letters and Instagram posts,” she says. “I don’t consider myself a feminist, but I’m down for my first opportunity to say something to the world to be so meaningful. If you asked me, ‘What do you want to say?’ it would be, ‘Love yourself more.'”
Um, excuse you, Megan-with-an-H, but have you learned NOTHING from Beyoncé?? Feminism is OK now because Beyoncé said it was, remember? You made Beyoncé cry sad salty feminist tears today Meghan.
But honestly, Megan-with-an-H is only 20-years-old; she’s basically a fetus with eyeliner, so of course she’s not a “feminist”. She’s too busy replying to fan letters and Instagram posts to learn what the word means! So instead she just makes some vague excuse for why she hasn’t yet learned the definition of the word. Just like Shailene Woodley! Maybe we should make up a new word to describe someone who isn’t a feminist, but isn’t entirely sure why they’re not? That way they wouldn’t spend so much time making up weird reasons to defend their ignorance. Maybe like, “feminotsure” or “feminaskmeinacoupleyears“. It would save so much time!