Kanye West’s original My Size Barbie Amber Rose got married to rapper Wiz Khalifa last year, but unlike Kanye’s kurrent My Size Barbie, Amber didn’t immediately try to pimp out pictures of her wedding for cash (“Ew, why would you have a wedding if you can’t make money off it?” – Kim Kardashian).
So to celebrate their 1-year anniversary, Amber and Wiz decided to finally release a couple pictures from their special day to Instagram (via People), and thank god they did, because this shit is Bed, Bath and BEYOND! To say that Amber Rose’s bedding-inspired wedding dress is “exquisite” is an understatement; that dress is a damn sleep comfort creation fit for a bald alien princess. It looks like she checked into a very fancy French hotel from the 80s, pulled the bed skirt off the bed, ripped the curtains off the windows, grabbed all the lace-trimmed towels, called housekeeping, ordered more towels and bed skirts, then made a giant pile and dove in the middle. The bottom half of Amber Rose’s gown is so huge, I feel like she should be sitting on the back of my granny’s toilet with a roll of Charmin under her dress.
But why is Amber holding on to her son Sebastian? I’m sure all that fabric could easily support the weight of a baby. Hell, Wiz Khalifa probably could have made a seat in one of the lace folds and cruised down the aisle on the side of her dress like he was riding an Acorn Stair Lift (he is wearing your nana’s favorite suit jacket, after all).
And is it just me, or did seeing Amber’s ruffly rippled wedding dress make you really hungry for a Breyer’s Viennetta?