The most important and relevant debate of our time went down yesterday when these pictures of Idris Elba shooting a movie were slapped on the Internet and some dick detectives said that he’s obviously got a dick that you can jump rope with if you’re ever bored on a Saturday afternoon and other dick detectives, like my ass, held up our magnifying glasses to his crotch (like I do most days) and declared that it’s probably just a mic cord or maybe he had one of those plastic toy snakes in his pocket. Idris put an end to the two foot long pencil dick debate on Twitter today. Idris might have a dick so long that if you deepthroat it the tip will stick out of your b-hole, but he says that thing in his pants yesterday was a mic wire.
Somewhere, the Hammaconda lifted its head, let out an “eh” and went back to napping off the family of warthogs it ate for breakfast.
So that’s that! Idris Elba might have a dick that’s so long you can play croquet with it, but it’s obviously shy and was tucked up between his ass cheeks while that mic cord got all the shine.
And yes, I still would. I’d even hit that mic cord.