Professional troll James Franco threw up this topless selfie on Instagram this morning (and quickly deleted that bitch) and it’s obvious that this is HIGH ART and it’s his way of commenting on Instagram’s censorship of RiRi’s nipples. Franco will follow it up with a 14-hour-long documentary and a portrait of a poem about nipple censorship that he tattooed on an actual nipple.
Where to begin?
THAT FACE! Dude looks like he’s strung out while suffering from the sicks. That’s probably the same face he makes when he’s jacking off while sick with the flu. It’s the “I don’t feel good but I’m going to fap because I can’t lie in this bed and not touch myself” face.
THOSE STICKERS ON THAT PHONE COVER. Just because James Franco loves teenage girls, doesn’t mean he has to have the same phone cover as one.
THAT BODY. All bloated and moist like an uncooked chicken… Stick some rosemary up his ass, rub herb butter all over his body and put him in the oven for an hour at 350 degrees.
THOSE CHONIES. James’ yellow panties tell me that he doesn’t shake after pissing and he wears yellow underwear to hide the pee stains.
If that picture was a scent, it would be smegma and dried dick cheese bits clinging to a sweaty dick bush.
In conclusion: Yes, yes, I’d hit it.