February 6, 2014 / Posted by:

A Mean Girls reunion is NOTHING without math enthusiast/bad-ass MC Kevin Gnapoor. Kevin Gnapoor should be on call at all times in the event of a possible Mean Girls reunion, and when Kevin is unable to fulfil his responsibilities of Best Mean Girls Character, his place will be filled by either Mrs. George, the wide-set vagina girl, Glen Coco, or that grotsky little byotch Trang Pak.

In times that you need a reminder that Lindsay Lohan isn’t always a two-legged useless (so, like, 99.999% of the time?) you can whip out this picture of her and Damian (government name: Daniel Franzese) that she posted to Instagram last night. The two went out to dinner in NYC because – DUH – why wouldn’t you go out for dinner with Damian? And if you’re looking at this picture and thinking “Damn Africa, when did Damian get old?”, well I have terrible news for you; this year marks the 10th anniversary of Mean Girls. Don’t worry, I’ll wait while you run to the bathroom and mourn your lost youth by cry-singing ‘Jingle Bell Rock‘ in the shower.

We all know Blohan’s life is an amped-up version of Mean Girls, so how much do you want to bet that Lilo spent the whole evening talking shit about the rest of the cast? “Oh my god, I like need to tell you – Rachel McAdams kept texting me after I went to rehab being like ‘Are you OK? Are you OK?’ and I’m like ‘Why are you so obsessed with me’ right? And you know I auditioned for Lizzy Caplan’s role on Masters of Sex, but she totally stole it from me. She’s, like, so jealous of my success; it’s pathetic. And to be totally honest? Amanda Seyfried is just a less-hot version of me, right? Ugh, they’re all just SO dramatic and jealous; I’m so glad I’ve moved on. Do you ever talk to Tina Fey? You do? WHAT DID SHE SAY ABOUT ME?!?”

Looks like today’s You’re A Saint award goes to Daniel Franzese; it takes a real angel to put up with Lohan’s pill-head ramblings for 2 hours and to put your wallet in danger by standing close enough for it to “accidentally” fall into her hands.

(Pic: Instagram)


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