St. Angie Jolie is gracing Australia with her holy presence while she directs that Unbroken movie over there and Brad Pitt is in England shooting that World War II movie with Shia LaDouche, so the child army has been split up. Brad took the Chosen Ones, who are looking more and more like early days Hanson, to Legoland Windsor and The Daily Mail says that he’s so real and so of the people that he waited in line with the regulars and didn’t use the “I’m Brad Fucking Pitt” card to cut to the front. Bitch, please. Brad Pitt probably hired a Brad Pitt decoy to wait in line, while he cut to the front, to make it look like he’s real and of the people. Because what’s the point of being famous if you’re not going to use that fame to skip the long ass annoying lines at amusement parks?
And because of that haircut and those clothes, Brad Pitt looks like the sensitive and low-ranking member of a crime family who’s been ordered to guard the mob boss’ chirruns.
Yes, I’d hit it, but I’m not talking about Brad. I’m talking about the hot bodyguard who looks like Stretch Armstrong’s silver-topped daddy.