The pride of America Courtney Stodden (on the left, I think) and transgender antiques prodigy Lauren Harries (on the right, I think) bonded over their love of drugstore lipstick, peroxide and illegal silicone injections in the Celebrity Big Brother house and so they’re filming a reality shit show together in Britain right now. In Britain, the law states that the only way you can get clearance to shoot a reality show is if the first scene shows two dozed off, broke off, tattered messes stumbling out of a bar with their microwaved salami areolas peeking out. So the porn iguana and the porn iguana’s future got so shit-faced last night that they had to be carried to their hotel by a dude who was trying his hardest not to touch Courtney’s Madball tits, which is pretty much impossible since bitch is all weave and plastic chichis.
The porn iguana’s creepy husband Doug Hutchison didn’t party with her in London last night, because he was too busy scaring the innocence out of children in Northampton. So while the gross, nasty, bloated pimp cat is away, the mouse will get drunk to forget the fact that she’s put her lips on the cat’s sleeping slug dick. This is probably the most normal I’ve ever seen the porn iguana act.
It’s almost like looking at my Friday night. Well, this is just like my Friday night if you replace those bruises with dried lonely tear drops and the transgender antiques prodigy with a dog who is over it.
I already love these two wrecks together. They’re like a well-adjusted, graceful and fresh version of Lindsay Lohan and White Oprah!