Our national nightmare that is Big Brother 15 is FINALLY over and if you watched that mess of a finale last night, your brain is probably still recovering from listening to caca-brained GinaMarie barf up nonsensical answers that were more tangled than her weave situation. While the ratty weave ball in GinaMarie’s head almost caught on fire from her trying to come up with answers, Andy took credit for everyone else’s game moves, kept apologizing and looked like an Alfred E. Neuman doll on the wrong kind of speed. Picking a winner between GinaMarie and Andy was like picking which cup of cat barf you’d like to drink. Andy won, but America should’ve won and split the prize money for watching this shit.
Before Andy won and Elissa was named America’s favorite player, Julie Chen briefly told the houseguests that America raised their pitchforks over some of the racist foolery that was spewed in the house. They all made the same “errrr…” look I made in the first grade when I shit my shorty shorts (I had the pizza for lunch, OKAY?) and all the kids around me asked, “Why does it smell like poo?” I hate everyone involved with Big Brother for not making Julie tell Aaryn, GinaMarie, Andy and Spencer that they’ve been dropped from their jobs while a camera got close-up shots of their reactions.
The Chenbot didn’t tell those messes that they were now unemployed, but reporters did. After the show ended, reporters were allowed to talk to all of them. Spencer said that he’s not a pedophile and most of his jokes were taken out of context. GinaMarie totally understood why she was fired from her pageant job and spit out the canned “I’m sorry if I offended anyone” excuse, and then she wrapped her legs around Nick’s neck and humped his face until his dick exploded. Andy said that his mouth is pure and he never said anything racist in the house. Amanda also played the “I’m sorry if I offended anyone” card. And then there was Aryan Nation…
Aaryn had two publicists with her and said that she’s going to write a book to clear her good name since the verbal shit she shat up in the house was taken out of context. Bitch should start researching for her book by looking up the definition of “taken out of context.” Aaryn doesn’t really care that she was dropped by her modeling agency, because she was barely working with them anyway and she’s already lined up meetings with 6 other agencies.
BigBrotherLeak says that Candice, who Aaryn said a bunch of racist shit about, told reporters that she and Aaryn bonded in the jury house and Aaryn saw the light of her ways after watching The Help:
It’s official: “The Help” is the most important and effective racist reform tool.
I just hope that while they were watching that important documentary on racial tolerance, Candice served Aaryn her special chocolate pie.