Miley Cyrus Thinks Her VMAs Performance Made History

Years from now on, American history students will learn all about the important time in our country’s history when Miley Cyrus, the chipmunk daughter of a sad mullet and a slutty anime horse, had dry butt sex with Alan Thicke’s son during the 2013 VMAs. That’s what Miley thinks anyway. Miley opened up her talk hole about her VMAs performance to MTV News and now we know that one of the symptoms of over-twerking is vomiting out a river of lukewarm delusion. Miley compared herself to Madonna and then said that she’s just being Miley!

“I don’t pay attention to the negative because I’ve seen this play out so many times. How many times have we seen this play out in pop music? Madonna’s done it. Britney’s done it. Every VMA performance, that’s what you’re looking for; you’re wanting to make history. Me and Robin the whole time said, ‘You know we’re about to make history right now. What’s amazing is I think now, we’re three days later and people are still talking about it. They’re over thinking it. You’re thinking about it more than I thought about it when I did it. Like, I didn’t even think about it ’cause that’s just me.”

“Like, I didn’t even think about it...” Oh really, nobody noticed.

See, this is what happens when a dad feeds his special hillbilly snowflake a bunch of lies because he’s afraid that she’ll cut off his allowance if he tells her the truth. The snowflake’s brains become a heaping mound of delusion. But you know, Miley is kind of right. The new world record for the most people to suffer from secondhand embarrassment at the same time was made during her VMAs performance, so she did help to make history!