Hot Slut Of The Day!
Choupette Lagerfeld, Kunty Karl's precious Siamese kitten pet and the only creature on this planet whose soul he won't pour onto a white gold soup spoon and slurp on to recharge the orb of death in his chest. Every super villain queen needs a fluffy white pussy to pet while he plans world demotion and Kunty Karl has his.
Choupette became Kunty Karl's sidekick kitty after his human Baptiste Giabiconi asked him to take care of her for two weeks last Christmas. Usually when Kunty Karl lays his eyes on a pile of fluff, he immediately orders his minions to skin it and turn it into a pair of Chanel nipple warmers, but he didn't do that with Choupette. Karl's dead heart cracked open and it started to beat for the first time since he was turned into a zombie vampire centuries ago. Kunty Karl immediately claimed Choupette as his own and hired two full-time maids to take care of her and document her every move in a diary. Kunty Karl tells WWD (via Fashionista):
"She is a famous beauty. She is nine months old. Baptiste gave her to me for Christmas to watch for two weeks when he was away but then I refused to give her back. I thought she was too cute. She is like a kept woman. She has a strong personality. She has lunch and dinner with me on the table, with her own food. She doesn’t touch my food. She doesn’t want to eat on the floor. She sleeps under a pillow and she even knows how to use an iPad. She has two personal maids, for both night and day. She is beyond spoiled.
We do keep a diary. When I am not there, the maids take down, in little books, everything she did, from what she ate, to how she behaved, if she was tired, and if she wasn’t sleeping. In the nine months, we already have almost 600 pages. Colette had written a lot about cats. I am not Colette, but I think it could be funny to make a little book of Choupette’s diary."
That diary must be a thrilling read!
9:25 - We spoon fed Choupette only TWO drops of Diet Coke so she won't get fat, and therefore become unlovable. As per your instructions.
10:15 - We asked the in-house orchestra to play Mozart and we turned our backs to Choupette as she did her business on a bed of raw diamonds. As per your instructions.
10:22 - As one member of your staff cleansed Choupette's non non hole with a cashmere cloth dipped in distilled Diet Coke, we gilded her shit and placed it on the shelf in the altar room devoted to her. As per instructions.
And of course, Kunty Karl gave WWD a picture of his precious working an iPad:
The world was already a strange place and now it's an even stranger place. I mean, Kunty Karl is having actual human feelings for a living, breathing creature? This is not supposed to happen! Nothing good can come out of this. First comes love for a kitteh, then comes Karl declaring he's a vegan, then comes Karl designing a plus-size line for Chanel, then comes Karl adopting the thing he hates most A CHILD (maybe even a fat one) so that Choupette can have a playmate. Then the dark clouds will go away forever and everything will be rainbows, smiley birds and sunshine. I know what's going on here. Choupette is obviously working for Kunty Karl's rival witch Donatella Versace and that pussy's sole mission is to turn him into Snow Fucking White. And she's slowly doing it. Who knew that a fluffy white pussy would be the one to bring down the evil kingdom of Kunty Karl?
(Thanks to everybody who sent this in)
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Aren't Siamese known to be m f's..?
My mom and step dad had one when I was a kid and aside from the fact it was the greediest pig on the planet- it used to literally screech and attack us kids!
Kunty Karl better keep a sharp eye on Choupette as she grows up- she'll be going for the jugular one night....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
She is so cute! I want her too. I think she is a Himalayan and not Siamese though.
Every witch needs a familiar. I guess Karl found his in Choupette. She really is a precious kitty. _______________________________________________
What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
boredasfuckyo -- I know, I'm like you; when I see a poor animal like that, it goes right through me. Anyone who is kind to animals has a place in my heart.
Paige123 -- of course your cat wants a maid and an iPad -- doesn't every cat???
daisydaisy -- of course you're a maid to your cats. You're their servant, don't ya know? That's so sweet the way they act with you. They love you, though. They sound so sweet.
The first sentence in this post describing Karl by MK is dead-on exact!
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
I somehow can't throw shade at Karl for this ridiculousness, I mean it is his money also I was just skimming through our local online newspaper and they did a feature on local strays/pets that need good homes. And they showed a picture of a boxer mix that was skin and bones. You could see the poor thing's ribs. Shit like that gets to me. Abused/Neglected animals, I just can't. So yea, I can't throw shade. Atleast he's taking care of it.
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
Yeah, I guess it's great that he can show respect and care for something other than himself but he does seem to have some sort of strange Micheal Jackson complex going on (his emotions seem to have stuck to when he was 9).
Let's hope he feeds the dear thing enough, we know how much he loathes average weight folk!
"Usually when Kunty Karl lays his eyes on a pile of fluff, he immediately orders his minions to skin it and turn it into a pair of Chanel nipple warmers, but he didn't do that with Choupette"
LINE OF THE DAY! I spilled my tea.
Well on the bright side he isn't hurting anybody or anything and he managed to create two jobs out of nowhere and is paying for them out of his own pocket. Win for him, win for the cat and win for the two women who are no longer unemployed.
Karl is at that age now where he needs a little love bug companion like this beautiful pussy. I think he will be kind to her til she is old as well. Kunty Karl has a heart for pussys deep inside his mummy chest. He will love that cat til his last days. Pussy power has defeated the soul eaters!
My cat now wants two maids & I pad!!!!!!
Are we sure that's a Siamese? I bet when she gets older (and LOUDER) Kunty Karl will change his tune. Or move her to another manse and just read the diaries.
Dogs have owners; cats have servants.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 06/07/2012 -
I want that maid's job.
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Me too!! I feel like a maid to my cats ( I bet they think I'm their slave). They wake me up in the middle of the night, literally walk all over me, demand food at all times.. I can't even go to the bathroom alone because the minute I close the door, they start scratching it, meowing like it's the end of the world. They have more pictures than I ever will (ok, that's my fault). So, yeah I'm like their maid
Submitted by clairey claire on Thu, 06/07/2012 - 3:59pm.
If my job was being a full time maid to a 9 month old kitten and I had to document it's every move in a damn diary, well I think I'd just go ahead and blow my effing head off. Makes telemarketing look like brain surgery in the worthwhile jobs department.
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I dunno clairey, I think it'd be fine with me. Of course, I would just write all this stuff the cat was doing ahead of time and hand it in each day! I wouldn't actually be writing it live! ahahahah Oh, hell no! ;D
Telemarketing is not for me.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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It's pretty bad when you read "Baptiste" and the first thing that comes to mind is that fabulous deep purple nail polish from Illamasqua that goes by that name.
Choupette's maids probably make more than some executives. I'd rather keep a diary of what a cat does than sit in a cube typing up corporate "speak". I'll never forget some kind of team-building exercise we had at our office and the cheerleader department that was leading it were all wearing "Got a pair a dimes?" t-shirts. Get it? Pair a dime/paradigm? Yeah, straight out of Dilbert hell.
Orangina u make laff too ...!
Battery gone bye!
If my job was being a full time maid to a 9 month old kitten and I had to document it's every move in a damn diary, well I think I'd just go ahead and blow my effing head off. Makes telemarketing look like brain surgery in the worthwhile jobs department.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Gah it's so cute! Who knew that Kunty Karl actually had a soul.
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I got nothing clever, cute, sarcastic or evil to say about this article, but I have been laughing hysterically over little Choupette's diary...rolling on the floor! This OWNS me. Thank you for making my life worth living!
Ho-Tell -- I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that bitch at the Chanel counter; fuck her & her snooty ass -- stupid bitch. She'd be lucky to have you; you obviously have great knowledge of the products. One of these days I hope to start using their face products. As far as foundation goes, it's only high end stuff. Lipsticks, pretty much only MAC. Powder, only Chanel, Bobbi Brown or T. LeClerc (awesome stuff). The fall Chanel line-up looks amazing, especially the Rose Initiale blush and Vertigo and Suspicious nail polishes -- gorgeous stuff. Thanks for sharing. I'll look for you on ONTD.
WithinReason, aww, thanks for remembering! What happened was that the HBIC of all the counters first insulted me by saying "Chanel has very high standards, so I can't consider you." (I buy all my Chanel stuff online now, thus she lost a good customer). THEN she wanted me for Clinique. I came on here and asked for advice. I didn't know if I wanted to work for this bitch. I had decided to do it, but--and I ain't lying--before I could accept it, I tore up my foot and have planter fasciitis. Hurts like hell. This was a good six weeks ago, and it's only slightly better. I need a job really really bad, though, and am currently being strung along by a girl at another counter at another store about 30 minutes from me.
Twat--I forgot you have to have a live journal account to post on Beauty by ONTD. It's free, though, if you want to set up just a basic account. I never use mine except to comment on communities. I *think* there's currently a waiting list on the main ONTD, but no worries for Beauty by ONTD. I'm 1islandinthesea. A mouthful, but look for someone posting with a retro Vogue cover icon. :) I bet you have good skin because you've been taking care of it with the La Mer and other good stuff. See, I'll buy a drugstore eyeshadow (love L'Oreal's Infallible) or lip balm (I have about six of the Revlon Lip Butters) but for my face, nope. Gotta be Chanel.
xo
Rookie move Baptiste! Now the cat inherits everything.
Props to the "maids". They know that KK's black soul will melt and render him mortal, leaving them as the executors of his estate.
[Slow claps]
That is some next-level gold-digger shit.
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Thu, 06/07/2012 - 11:34am.
This is why Europe needs austerity.
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I assume you're being ironic, but if you're not: Nobody needs "austerity", except the 1%. The rest of us are already blessed with a bountiful supply.
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Penguin...Batman was so wrong about you.
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 4:11pm.
Ho-Tell -- do you use the same name on ONTD? Confession: years ago, when I had money, I was a LaMer freak, used it religiously, hence my pieces of vintage Chanel. I miss it, I must admit. I have really good skin, though. I've been using the Benefit B. Right regime lately & like it well enough. I still have some LaMer cleansing gel left, but it leaves my skin very tight & dry, very disappointing. I post rarely on musingsofamuse as "SusanT."
I feel like Patsy again:
"A cat? A cat?! Damn it Kunty, you used to WEAR those!"
"Chanel nipple warmers" indeed. I don't like my icons' black hearts turning soft.
Ho-tell, did you ever go for that Chanel or Clinique job, or are you planning to later on? Seemed like you were looking into that! ;)
OnT: the kitty's cute, Karl has kidnapped that pussy!!! Hahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Oh look, Aryan kitteh. I'm surprised Karl doesn't own a Kitler.
Twat--I'm not here much, but I'm on Beauty by ONTD whenever there's a post, and I usually comment. Although, ahem, I think I'm a little older than most of those girls.
And the make-up blogs! OMG. I don't post on any of them, but I read Cafe Makeup, The Non-Blonde, Messy Wands, and The Best Things In Beauty regularly. Sometimes I click around from those. It's an addiction, I swear.
I have Bobbi Brown Pale Pink Pot Rouge for Lips and Cheeks too! Okay for when I don't want to do a full Chanel face.
I especially love reading when MichaelK will drop a mention about trying on his sister/cousin/mom's makeup when he was a kid. You know he now buys La Mer or maybe Chanel's Sublimage to keep up his good looks. ;)
xo
Ho-Tell -- I don't think our dlisted friends mind when some of us go off and talk about some of our interests -- don't be mad at us peeps! Another tip: if you live near a Neiman's or Barney's (I do), buy your makeup there. They give you a shitload of samples and occassionally have gifts with purchases at special times of the year. Now I have to have a bit of yellow in my foundation as I'm really, really pale and have a bit of pink in my skin. I was also considering that Dolce & Gabbana cream foundation which looks so beautiful, too. I have the same probably with blushes. I have to buy blushes that are blue-based or everything turns orange on me. Rose Petale is the only blush that's not blue-based that didn't turn orange on me -- leave it to Chanel. Another beautiful blush on me is the Pale Pink by Bobbi Brown. I also like Desire by NARS, but I always come back to Chanel. Black Pearl is beautiful! And OMG -- you're like me: a makeup blog junkie!!! I read cafemakeup, musingsofamuse, and a whole slew of others. I will check you guys out at ONTD. Please remember to shout out any new makeup finds at me when you find me here at dlisted -- I'd love to hear from you. Yay -- I've made a new makeup & dlisted friend!!! Love, Twat
See!!! Even soul sucking death dealers can't resist the kittehs.
Twat Muffin, oh, I am totally jealous that you have Chanel vintage jewelry. Lucky.
Ah, but if you try the Chanel Vitalumiere cream compact you will fall in love...unless your face is an oil slick, then you want the liquid. The cream compact is like a mousse not a gooey cream like it sounds. Also, finally a Chanel foundation that has some rose-based colors instead of beige or yellow. Best. Foundation. Ever.
Rose Petale is very pretty. I got Pink Explosion instead 'cause my skin can make blush turn peach.
Distraction really tempted me, but I had recently bought Black Pearl and Dragon, so I had to pass.
Here's complete coverage of upcoming Chanel that I've been drooling over for the past hour: http://cafemakeup.com/2012/06/06/some-upcoming-chanel-collections/
You should join us over at Beauty by ONTD!
Last thing: Used to know a girl who worked with Chris. Every time I see your icon, I think of what she told me: Total Pothead. Ha, makes me like him even more.
Sorry to everyone not interested in this makeup stuff.
@Thamar
"My cat got into it with a skunk two days ago, smell is almost gone" HAHAHA! That is best journal entry ever!
I bet he would freak out if he knew that his cat likes to kill rodents and birds just like all other cats. He thinks his cat is above that.
Choupette = Cutest name ever for a kitten. Love it.
When she dies, rather than making her into something as pedestrian as a heli-cat, Choupette will be the push button for Kunty's bidet.
Ho-Tell -- OMG, I am a total Chanel collector. I have an old pair of Chanel sunglasses which are barely functional. I have a couple pieces of vintage Chanel jewelry. Right now I'm using Lancome foundation (I love super watery, light foundations), but I'm considering that aqualumiere foundation. I have that faerie sparkle powder (gorgeous!), Rose Petale & Tweed Pink blushes), tons of old eyeshadows, and am now sporting the Distraction nailpolish on my toes. I have a sample of the Inimitable mascara and it's awesome. Then again, I have a Maybelline mascara that's great, too. Surprisingly, though, I don't love the Chanel lipsticks; I'm a slave to MAC's Ravishing lipstick. Good, god, I could talk makeup all afternoon.
Thamar-
I haven't read all of the comments, so this may have already been suggested. But, have you tried a tomato juice bath for Kitteh? And for the house, if you can find orange oil or peppermint (as I did see someone else mentioned)either one should help with the smell. =op
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"Birds are doomed when pussies can fly"- MK
Submitted by Jeanneee on Thu, 06/07/2012 - 12:33pm.
HE STOLE BAPTISTE'S KITTEN?!
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He's the Grinch of fashion! "You're a mean one, Monsieur Karl."
Non-non hole is the hotness
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Twat Muffin--Rouge Allure Chouette! That's the lipstick you described. Let's get Karl on the phone and see if we can get paid for this idea, eh?
Twat Muffin, do I sense a fellow Chanel collector? I can't afford the purses or clothes either, but I have a pair of sunglasses and, um, some of the nail polish (like a lot of the nail polish) and use Chanel make-up. Have the new Vitalumiere cream compact--so much love--a lot of skin care, eyeshadows, mascara, blush, etc., etc.
I justify the expense by saying that Hey, this my face, and I must preserve the beauty. *snort*
Thanks Vern. Used to have a peppermint enzyme was good for all kinds of household challenges. Breaks down bugs exoskeleton w/out harming ppl. We hope.
I don't mind being servant class. I have had marvelous experiences serving. You just hope they are intelligent and kind which is unlikely these days. Noblesse oblige is just gone! :p
Always more interesting downstairs than up.
Team Choupette! Chouette!
I love Choupette. However, I hope she never tears into Karl's clothes or furniture, or I'm afraid she may end up embedded in Karl's Fall 2012 collection!
Hopefully one day this adorable kitty will scratch him right across the face.
I have a strong urge to bitch slap Karl now!
Karl! Oh Karl, you have my heart now. (For a brief moment). I knew there was a heart somewhere in there.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Ho-Tell -- OMG, that's brilliant! I really think you're onto something. Since I'm into Chanel cosmetics big-time, that's something I would totally buy. Unfortunately, I can't afford Chanel clothing or purses. I would imagine a Choupette lipstick would be a beautiful, delicate pink, just like Choupette herself. How sweet!
Step right up folks, step right up and lay your bets as to how long before we see a new Chanel lipstick/purse/clothing line named Choupette.
In his defense, she IS damn cute.
HE STOLE BAPTISTE'S KITTEN?! What a cock!
Rich people are so weird and gross with their pets. I swear I can hear my grandmother tornadoing in her grave over the thought of a cat eating at the table. *hack* *hack* *picks hair off tongue*
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
I saw an article in one of the fashion magazines months ago about Choupette and I fell in love with her then; I can't tell you how happy I am to see her as Hot Slut of the Day!!! Viva la Choupette!!!
That's one lucky pussy! Wish I was that lucky.
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
The maids are probably unpaid interns.