Crotches Of Meth
An Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper telling the local news that "it was determined that there was an active meth lab in his pants" is the reason why the American flag is flying extra high today.
When Highway Patrol trooper Shiloh Hall pulled over an SUV for speeding, he asked the same question tanning salon employees ask after Jocelyn Wildenstein comes in to bake her skin: "What is that chemical smell?" When Trooper Shiloh realized that something in the SUV was meth, its passenger, David Williams, quit that bitch and ran away. Trooper Shiloh chased after David, caught the ho and quickly realized he had a meth lab stashed in his pants. File this under: WWWWD (What Would Walt White Do?).
Sometime during David's struggle with Trooper Shiloh, the meth lab franchise on his crotch exploded. Besides the fact that David's got meth mouth of the dick and has become the most eligible piece in the Lohan family, the meth bottle blast didn't cause any major injuries. David was arrested for manufacturing a control substance.
They should also charge David's dumb ass for being the worst meth maker ever. When Trooper Shiloh asked what that gross chemical smell was, David should've said that a can of Mountain Dew spilled in the car earlier or he should've said that all the Purell he drinks makes his farts smelly funny. Trooper Shiloh would've shrugged and move on. But no, David had to run off like a moron. What if Trooper Shiloh fired a shot at David? Bitch would've blown up. This is why whenever I need to transport a portable meth lab in a car, I just hide it up in my no-no. Not even the most dedicated and bravest cop will ask me for a cavity search and if it explodes up in there, I wouldn't even notice.
via Arbroath
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That comment about shooting may be closer to the truth then you know. Shiloh Hall has a history as a hothead and has shot an unarmed man before. Shiloh was jerking around on someone bigger then himself and fell on his ass. He claimed the man was getting a gun as he ran away and shot him. No gun has ever been found. OHP leadership will let troopers do anything they want without accountability unless it ends up on youtube, then you get a three month paid vacation and little telling off.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 10:15am.
Jeez! They must have haz-mat folks on stand by 24/7!
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 3:01pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:25pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:19pm.
Oh tell me about it. I dated a redhead from Sequoyah Co.... craziest person on the planet.
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I am now fascinated by this place!
I was reading a story about some dude gambling and lost his dope, and the police found his casino card and busted his ass, who was still happily playing the slots!
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Trust me, there is no other place like it. You can drive down I-40 and throw a rock out of the car and almost guaranteed to hit a meth lab.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
♫♫ He's got a meth lab
In his pants
He's got a whole meth lab
In his pants
He's got a meth lab
In his pants
He's got the meth world
In his pants ♫♫
god bless the war on drugs! i feel so much safer knowing people are walking around with meth labs in their jeans, because it's not enough to have diy meth labs in neighborhoods and at walmart. i can't believe i live in a country that requires me to sign a piece of paper to buy some fucking allergy tablets.
Submitted by guest on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 1:23pm.
Cannot believe teens are drinking f'ing Purrell!!!!!
makes sense to me - american liquor laws suck, teenagers are curious/bored/experimental and humans have spent thousands of years eating & trying all sorts of things to get high. also purrell seems almost tame when there's people getting high off jenkem. ew.
eta: oh i'm dumb - jenkem is a hoax.
Submitted by doncorleone on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 6:56pm.
I hope tomorrow is better for ya! : )
killer ass story. i love ya mk.
THANK YOU MICHAEL K: I have had the SHITTIEST day until I clicked on this article "crotchmeth". I have never laughed so fucking much, thanks I needed it esp. today!! :)
Time to thin the herd.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Kids today are STUPID. That is all.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:28pm.
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:14pm.
The hell with these little punks drinking Purell? Just rob your parent's liquor cabinet and fill the bottles back up with water like normal kids. :p
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No shit SweetAss1! WTF is up with kids. See this is one reason the Internet is not a good thing, some punk comes up with a a way to get fucked up and they ALL know it in no time. Think about how long it took for the old "you'll get high smoking banana peels" to get to the average kid. I'll bet it was one of those things that took years and years floating around for kid's to have finaly heard. Not now, Day 1.. "I heard you can get high smoking banana peels" Day 4... the entire WORLD not only knows if it's possible to get high smoking banana peels but they'll also probably find about five other ways of getting all fucked up.
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Ah, the good old days before the interwebs. i kinda miss those days. YOU KNOW WHEN PEOPLE ACTDUALLY SPOKE TO EACH OTHER AND LOOKED WHERE THEY WERE GOING WHEN WALKING DOWN THE STREET. um, sorry, got a little UPSET for a minute.
WALT WHITE IS THE MOTHER FUCKING MAN!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 1:43pm.
I read a couple of weeks ago that
there was a Shake-N-Bake lab found
at Walmart.
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.....And ah halped!
Why so complicated? We drank our parents booze, and when that was done, we drank our parents nyquil.
What's so hard about that?
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:25pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:19pm.
Oh tell me about it. I dated a redhead from Sequoyah Co.... craziest person on the planet.
_________________________________________
I am now fascinated by this place!
I was reading a story about some dude gambling and lost his dope, and the police found his casino card and busted his ass, who was still happily playing the slots!
EXACTLY Whamo! And you know, we couldn't figure out how to dry the stupid banana peels (which you could Google now) but luckily our aunt/parent/big brother etc. smoked weed so why even bother when you could raid their stash of real stuff lol.
YOU ARE OVER-COMPLICATING THIS KIDS!
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:14pm.
The hell with these little punks drinking Purell? Just rob your parent's liquor cabinet and fill the bottles back up with water like normal kids. :p
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No shit SweetAss1! WTF is up with kids. See this is one reason the Internet is not a good thing, some punk comes up with a a way to get fucked up and they ALL know it in no time. Think about how long it took for the old "you'll get high smoking banana peels" to get to the average kid. I'll bet it was one of those things that took years and years floating around for kid's to have finaly heard. Not now, Day 1.. "I heard you can get high smoking banana peels" Day 4... the entire WORLD not only knows if it's possible to get high smoking banana peels but they'll also probably find about five other ways of getting all fucked up.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:25pm
LOL! Indeed!
Guest,
:D
Xoxoxo
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Hahaha snowy!! You're probably right, candy asses.
*Grampa Simpson voice* Whah, in mah day, we had tah s*whistle*steal our own booz*whstle*ze. And we liked it!
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:19pm.
Oh tell me about it. I dated a redhead from Sequoyah Co.... craziest person on the planet.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:19pm.
I was reading through the Sequoyah County Times (the online paper for this area) and it sounds CHARMING! A 47 year old man got married to a 16 yr old! So many drug stories too!
sounds like a lovely place to live out one's retirement years!
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
*
@zomay..."at least my crotch is clean"!!!! olololololol classic.
I was reading through the Sequoyah County Times (the online paper for this area) and it sounds CHARMING! A 47 year old man got married to a 16 yr old! So many drug stories too!
Mikey, this is just about the funniest thing you have every posted. EVER! It's hilarious from beginning to end. Keep in mind, I hardly ever laugh at stories about meth because it's the worse and saddest drug in existance but this sh!t was funny. (And I LOVE Trooper Shiloh!!)
SDR - you will not find a complete list of ingredients on the interwebs.
basically it's a whole bunch of chemicals that will kill you.
Mickey,looking forward to the hell reunion.....
yeah, I too heard they test the hell outta truckers nowadays, keeps the company's insurance down..
I heard montanna is crack central, don't know if it's true, but I used to talk online with a state trooper from there who said it's the biggest problem they have.
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:12pm.
The hell with these little punks drinking Purell? Just rob your parent's liquor cabinet and fill the bottles back up with water like normal kids. :p
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
LMAO, right, geez these kids today, prolly think that method is unsanitary!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Guest, I can read these stories and not be so hard on myself. Hey at least my crotch is clean!
Still laughing my ass off.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
The hell with these little punks drinking Purell? Just rob your parent's liquor cabinet and fill the bottles back up with water like normal kids. :p
ETA LOL guest!! I guess you have a point there.
Jacko - long haul truckers are drug tested and can only drive 8 hours before they have to "rest" for 8 hours.
of course, they can fudge their log book.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 1:15pm.
"Sequoyah County, OK - Meth's World Wide Headquarters."
i think there are a couple of counties out here that have put Sequoyah Co. on notice . . .
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Zomay...ikr!!!! *rotfl*
Submitted by christine the hoff on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 2:01pm.
"I'm going to hell for how hard I'm laughing at "Meth lab in his pants"
Well, Christine, you'll probably see most of us in there too.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Well Sweetas...ur junk could very well be sacrificed in jail sooo there's no safe answer!!!! lol. Cannot choose!
I'm going to hell for how hard I"m laughing at "Meth lab in his pants"
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
What's in meth?
Acetone, ephedrine (cold meds), something in batteries...
Feel free to add to the list. I'm not sure of all of the ingredients.
And people wonder why their teefs fall out and skin goes to hell...
Jack,SDR, and Andrei, thanks for the info. I had no idea that it was that bad in OK. So sad.
"Sometime during David's struggle with Trooper Shiloh, the meth lab franchise on his crotch exploded. "
Lmfao
..............................
Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Submitted by Bigbendy on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 1:31pm.
no clue... Sallisaw, OK is one of the meth capitols of the freakin world. One of the main suppliers owns a huge cattle ranch. He has about 10 semi trucks with these huge cattle trailers. You can find one parked outside just about any truck stop in OK. They are his "dealers", peddling their shit to other truck drivers to help them stay awake on long hauls... he's got a fucking gold mine.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I read a couple of weeks ago that there was a Shake-N-Bake lab found at Walmart.
Bigbendy - Cheap high. Anyone can make it. Ingredients readily available at Lowe's or Home Depot.
It's common in Texas also.
Why do meth users love to do it doggy style?
So they can both look out the window.
What do they call coke in Oklahoma?
Fancy meth
"meth mouth of the dick" Ahahahaha MK!!
Um guys, quick question. If someone said you could either go to jail or sacrifice your junk, which would you choose?
at least now we know where the Blessed Jolie Pitts got the name!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by urmomma on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 1:32pm.
Yeah.. even in my small town. Out in rural Oklahoma... meth labs are BAAADD. Little kids walking junky trailer houses, parents shooting up. It's a horrible problem.
Submitted by Bigbendy on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 1:31pm.
Oklahoma City is also among the top 5 worst cities for gang-related violence. Just behind LA and NYC. For a state with not as many people as somewhere like CA, we're probably the most fucked up ever.
This is unfortunately becoming more common. It's called "Shake and Bake", and it is a cheaper, quicker but even more dangerous way of making meth. When it explodes it usually severely burns anyone around, so it is surprising the Trooper wasn't burned as well.
Another example of natural selection working its wonders.
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Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:17am.
it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
AHAHAHA!
Is that a meth lab in your pants or are you just glad to see me!?
*blinks* I am shocked. Meth in Oklahoma? No fuckin' way.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK