A Dirt Star Is Born
The ten millionth remake of A Star is Born is turning out to be an idea as good as butt fucking a popsicle in the middle of August. It's going to have the same outcome too. Clint Eastwood has already signed on to direct and Beyonce is going to take the Judy Garland/Barbra Streisand role, and now Tommy Girl is in talks to play the has-been rock star. Yup, this is going to be a puddle of shit, sugar water and ice cold regrets.
Deadline says that Tommy and Clint have had several conversations about him taking the lead opposite Beyonce. Once the pillow baby-inflected velcro burns on Beyonce's belly heal, she'll be ready to start making Razzie history. Beyonce could be ready as soon as June, but Tommy's plate is full with two other movies. Clint has also considered Will Smith, Christian Bale, Leonardo DiCatchaHo, Russell Crowe and Eminem (???).
Tommy and Beyonce has to be the weirdest pairing since toothpaste and blowjobs. Beyonce's lacefront emotes more raw emotion on a movie screen than she does and Tommy as her lovah is just a whole new level of awkward. I bet Tommy only wants to do this shit, because he really wants Beyonce to teach him the Single Ladies dance. Tommy, it ain't worth it. Sashay away from this mess and take your black catsuit with you.
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She buys and blow jobs her way into any and everything. that said, everything beyonce touches turns to shit so whether clint E produces this movie or not it will be exactly what it was meant to be: SHIT.
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BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
and i don't believe there's a baby either!
"i'm a peaceful guy with bad intentions"
charlie sheen
Does Beyonce push Mitt Romney to the side at the end and get shot off the top of the Empire State?
if beyonce was in this movie, bitch would want to sing in it, and have the soundtrack all about her.
beyonce is probably in talks to remake the bodyguard, or something and have tommy girl play kevin costner's role as the bodyguard and beyonce will play rachel and solange will play the jealous sister who hires the assassin to kill beyonce.
And Beyonce wants everyone to believe she is a real actress, so she will go nude in the nude and jay-z's face can play the beyonce's vagina.
and papa knowles can play the pervert creepy stalker, with dirty pictures of beyonce, who they mistakenly catch as the assassin, but he isnt. he is only a pervert who uses his daughter's influence so he can try to hump her backup dancers.
She buys and blow jobs her way into any and everything. that said, everything beyonce touches turns to shit so whether clint E produces this movie or not it will be exactly what it was meant to be: SHIT.
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BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
and i don't believe there's a baby either!
"i'm a peaceful guy with bad intentions"
charlie sheen
MickeyHolland - I too love the Streisand/Kristofferson version - the soundtrack FUCKING RULES and I can sing every word to every song.
Submitted by Andrei on Sat, 03/10/2012 - 3:56pm.
Hollywood just keep remaking its own dirty asshole in hopes for a few bucks.
Andrei, you made me laugh out loud with that. SO TRUE!
the_hot_chick totally nailed it.
I love this site. Reading the commentary is true entertainment. I don't feel so alone with my wicked thoughts.
It's official. Clint Eastwood has completely given in to dementia. Or he's just really bored. Kind of like George Lucas messing with Star Wars.
What a sad life.
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I have to laugh to keep from crying.
I LOVE Eminem. My bad boy fantasy. Did you guys see 8 Mile? He can act a little bit.
I love La Streisand, but the 1970s remake was a total bore and a testiment to Streisand's huge ego. Kris Kristopherson was the only high spot in the movie. Don't beat a dead horse, leave it dead.
Bizzarelife:
I am a performance artist and writer, so when I travel I try to report one what I see when I am not on stage. And Cambodia is definitely not what I expected!
But I can dig it!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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The mere mention of Beyonces and Tommygirls name is an insult to Eminem.
She buys and blow jobs her way into any and everything. that said, everything beyonce touches turns to shit so whether clint E produces this movie or not it will be exactly what it was meant to be: SHIT.
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Beyonce is just as much ghetto trash as her sister, she just knows how to hide it better.
Barbado Slim 2008
Breakdown,
Your travels are amazing! Do you work in a field where lots of travel is a must?
That is so true. All that $$ and they never touch their neck. Odd.
softness1 on Sat, 03/10/2012 - 11:12pm.
I love Tom Cruise movies. This should be a no no for him. Beyonce acting is so forced and strained like she's shitting. Wtf is Clint and Tom thinking??? The are A list in the acting/directing field. They don't need her. This ain't a Robert Townsend production. Why
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i think beyonce may have bought the rights to this movie.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
this movie will be a bigger mess than tom cruise and john revolta's orgy.
and that mole is getting way too big. it was never that big.
and although his face seems "smooth" he has had skin treatment like orgy cum masks.
but his neck needs abit of work, all these idiots spend all the fucking $$$ in the world to pull and tug their face but they do nothing about their necks... its like turkey neck.
that face is soo tight, when he smiles he lets out a wet cum fart out of his hole.
this troll needs to stop dying his nasty, dry, middle-aged hair
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.
It would work more effectively (and as a comedy) if TommyGirl played the Streisand role. Beyonce is more masculine than TommyGirl on his best day. AND Clint is not really operating on a full tank anymore. Spark Plugs not firing like they used to. SO this will most definitely be a huge waste of time and pile of crap. BTW...Clint's PR people must be smoking something to think Bale would ever have considered A) working with him. B) doing any romcom with DivaBaby.
I actually think Tom would do a fine job in the role and that the movie would have a chance at being decent with a better actress than Beyonce. Which means just about any other actress.
Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 03/10/2012 - 8:50pm.
dreajane: I don't tell anyone IRL about dlisted. They might read the shit I write about them and know its me! Hahahaha!
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I'm always afraid of that. I know of one or more people who come here, but I don't advertise the fact that I do. I'm always afraid that gradually releasing bits of information about myself is going to ping somebody's brain and they're going to say, "Hey, is that... ___?"
TimC, not sure if you were joking or serious, but it's a blepharoplasty.
Pfff. I suspect that hot chick's rundown of the future of this movie is probable. It will be crap regardless.
Am I the only person who is afraid to put on a pair of specialized sunglasses from the movie "They Lived" and take a 'real' look at the Alien face hidden behind Mister Tom Cruise's fake human flesh?
LOL @ zach. Trueness!
Beyonce should direct it. Lindsay Lohan and all three Jonas brothers should star.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
I love Tom Cruise movies. This should be a no no for him. Beyonce acting is so forced and strained like she's shitting. Wtf is Clint and Tom thinking??? The are A list in the acting/directing field. They don't need her. This ain't a Robert Townsend production. Why
Nothing will set the Cruise gay rumors to rest like starring in a remake of a Barbra Streisand movie that was a remake of a Judy Garland movie that was a remake of a Frederic March movie. PROVENANCE!
dreajane: I don't tell anyone IRL about dlisted. They might read the shit I write about them and know its me! Hahahaha!
That mole on his face is getting bigger.
Submitted by dreajanexoxo on Sat, 03/10/2012 - 7:20pm.
I love Dlisted for precisely this kind of derision and exposing of the media-machine that is Holly (bore) wood and the rest of our culture. The problem is I can't share it with too many people because of hilarious lines like "butt-fucking a Popsicle in august" and "toothpaste and blow-jobs.". While they cut right to the chase and are very effective anal-agies, they must remain my gleefully guilty pleasure, not to be shared on Facebook where my ex boyfriend, nieces and nephews, my mom, my step-mom, my uncle, and my co-workers would see. It's like secretly listening to Howard Stern; only certain people will love the raunchy, hilarious truth. Thanks for the (semi-private) laughs.
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Hey. I don't really see Dlisted as a guilty pleasure, sometimes at work I'll say something stupid that no one will understand because it's an inside joke for dlisters.
I've chosen not to have a Facebook account but you could still create an alternate account there though, I know many people here have.
While I do understand your concern about what your relatives might think, why would you care about your ex's opinion?
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
And what the hell happened to TC's Rock of Ages? Did it already tank?
I love Dlisted for precisely this kind of derision and exposing of the media-machine that is Holly (bore) wood and the rest of our culture. The problem is I can't share it with too many people because of hilarious lines like "butt-fucking a Popsicle in august" and "toothpaste and blow-jobs.". While they cut right to the chase and are very effective anal-agies, they must remain my gleefully guilty pleasure, not to be shared on Facebook where my ex boyfriend, nieces and nephews, my mom, my step-mom, my uncle, and my co-workers would see. It's like secretly listening to Howard Stern; only certain people will love the raunchy, hilarious truth. Thanks for the (semi-private) laughs.
No no no Sony, really, get your studio execs noses out of Beowulf's ass and start looking around for real talent. I like Idina Menzel.
Clint, please say no, leave that to the likes of Joel Schumacher or Rob Marshall.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Bahahahahah!!! This movie is gonna be a mess! Can't wait!
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STOP KONY 2012!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc
Submitted by Rosemary Young on Sat, 03/10/2012 - 5:41pm.
@Deb: I think it would be cool to do a remake where the young man is the up-and-comer, and the female is the fading star.
"Sunset Boulevard 2" !!
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There ya go! Porque no?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
@Deb: I think it would be cool to do a remake where the young man is the up-and-comer, and the female is the fading star.
"Sunset Boulevard 2" !!
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sat, 03/10/2012 - 2:52pm. ...
Original version from the '30s?!? Wow, I didn't know that. Adding it to my list of films to see.
Thamar, he'll be back... Sometimes you have to step back for a bit you know? ;)
Btw, liked what you said about your daughter the other day, don't recall the date but I copied it in case I ran into you. Would you mind if I used it as my siggy sometime?
OT: can you tell neither Tommygirl not Beowulf are tops in my book? hahahaha
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"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
This movie should really be renamed "A Granny-Looking Tranny (or is it Tranny-Looking Granny?) Starlet is Born".
Beyonce has class? Since when?
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
I'm kinda surprised to see Tom's wrinkled forehead. I expected him to have his face Botoxed to frozen shiny mask like the rest of vain Hollywood.
For all the wonderful ppl who are not here
Missing Every Strangers Eyes
ESE
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dirt+star
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Why do they keep trying to make Beyowulf as an actress? Bitch can't act for the life of it. Can't she be happy with what she has?
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
WithinReason:
Yes, the people here are very friendly. Even when they don't know where they are driving you, they will drive you all over the damn city...for a dollar!
Tomorrow, I think I am going to get high, and then take a leisurely stroll to have a 'happy pizza' or 'happy shake'.
While in Cambodia, do as the Cambodians do!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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Breakdown, you lead an exciting life... You making lotsa friends down/up there? I've never been but everyone I've met from those parts, has been so friendly! ;)
[Those guys with several girls sound icky!]
OT: Tommy just can't overcome his loonybin reputation can he?
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"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
I would cast Angie Stone over Beyawnce. SASS OVER CLASS in Borewood. Christian bale would be proper,possibly Kristin stewart as lead because she could down play it and have a few crazy ugly moments as well, not great but watchable which I think is the standard now. If a fit Jessica simpson had the acting skills of Streep she would be great in something like this, I would have her as an icy and fiery blond, strong like Streisand tried to do. Anyone see that 70s movie? Yeah I like dudes with dudes but I am a Streisand fan by default, my father likes her and is a white heterosexual man who grew up in the improvised areas in Detroit, streisand not only had commercial novelty appeal but a few relatable qualities with people born in the late 40s/early 50s. My opinion of her version of a star is born is that it ponged. Streisand hired a director to take her direction; he should have been the producer with her director because at least it would have been watchable. At the end she did moves like jagger that were more moves of an electrocuted rubber chicken. The hair she choose took her down to a -2 which was unfortunate because she was looking her best with long wavy blond hair and tan skin, in the 70s before that short curly permed brown hair she didn’t look like a beautiful women, she looked like a model. In this movie she looked like a muppet. I can watch the garland one a little bit at a time but it makes me feel like I should be doing something else other than watching it.
MK always picks the BEST photos.
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It's already tax time again!? Guess I gotta get my trusted tax adviser, Stephen King, on the phone STAT.
I wish Clint Eastwood would make another "Every Which Way But Loose" movie. Even though Ruth Gordon has passed away, I bet it would still be good. I used to love it when she would shriek, "THAT GODDAMNED APE ATE MY OREOS!!!"
The hot chick nailed it.
I don't know why Clint is getting embroiled in this fuckery. And I'm surprised at Tom because as much as he is an ass-munch, he has been incredibly successful and knows how Hollywood works.
And here is another one - Beyonce - who isn't happy being a superstar billionaire singer/dancer/fashion mogul *ahem*/half of a power couple/mom. She wants to be an Oscar-winning movie star.
jerseygirl17 -- OMG, I forgot she was in "Goldmember." As much as it pains me to admit this, I actually liked her in that movie, and I can't stand Beowulf, but she made that movie before she became an intolerable asshole diva who travels with an entourage of 70 people.
WithinReason/Deb:
I am smoking it as we 'speak'! Phnom Penh is pronounced "nom pen".
I am telling you, this city is derelict! Before I was even technically in the country, the police were trying to sell me ass and grass! You have to ride on motorcycles or scooters to get anywhere here fast. And fuck asking for a helmet!
But the best club I have been to since I started these travels has been here! I was shocked. But these bitches know how to party.
Downside? Seeing men older than Methuselah walking around with three or four Cambodian girls.
You can do alot of skanky for 5 dollars here!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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The Breakdown, sorry if this is a repeat question, but did you or didn't you smoke up that bag of weed? I am curious? :D
♥---♥---♥
"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater