Has It Really Come To This, George?

So you’re Jason Alexander and in the 90s you bathed in freshly printed hundred dollar bills that NBC gave you for starring in one of the biggest TV hits since It’s A Living! (Yes, it was a gigantic hit. Ann Jillian was in it so all arguments are invalid.) Cut to present day, you’re still Jason Alexander and you find yourself with a dead thirsty sloth on your head and an iPhone in your hand that you’re using to grope the lizard balls on a 17-year-old medicated iguana goddess in a way too long skit for Funny or Die. My question is, do you tell yourself that Michael Richards doesn’t have it so bad before or after you cut open your skull, remove your brain and dip it into liquid acid to erase the Courtmares smeared all over it?

Or maybe I’m totally wrong and George is actually into this in a “Why is something jumping up and down on your crotch underneath your trench coat, creepy dude on the subway?” kind of way. Now I’m the one who’s going to need to de-courtmare my brain.