Teeth Of Meth No More
Waking up to the crack house rats nibbling the pieces of shit and meth jank from her rotting butt corn teeth must have been the sign Lindsay Lohan needed to get her ass to a dentist, because she finally did and showed off her new Chiclets on her Twatter page last night with this little note:
Thanks Dr. Dorfman for the zoom... My gums are so sore though!
ZOOM?! Bitch, now you know you used that Playboy money from smiling your snatch on full-on veneers, not Zoom. If those aren't shiny white graveteeth covers, then that cup on her nightstand is soda instead of piss from a sober baby for future drug testing. I mean, if ZOOM could work that kind of miracle, then I'd use it on my bruised and battered no-no to restore it to its natural glory.
It says a lot when LiLo immediately runs out and gets her teeth situation fixed after we all said that mess looked like baked pumpkin seeds out of a dog's ass. But yet she doesn't do anything when the public yells at her to fix her life and shit decision making skills. I mean, this is the shit she chooses to fix? Priorities!
On a positive note, at least she has a new dazzling smile for her new mug shot of glamour.
And here's LiLo at the morgue on Friday, breaking in her new veneers with a cig.
• 
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Don't they have to file the real teeth down to pointy stumps before installing veneers and doesn't that make people nervous? What if they fall off or need maintenance and you can no longer afford it - are you left with pointy stumps for teeth? I prefer to floss and brush.
The thing about veneers is that they don't stain as easily as real teeth do. So ironically, yes, I'm sure a heavy smoker would revel in the fact that she could now smoke (and drink coffee and red wine) to her heart's content without much visible effect on her teeth.
I'm not sure how well veneers stand up to meth, however!
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
Yep she does look like Leann Rimes. She REALLY needs to quit dyeing her hair cuz her hairline is receding and her forehead is getting huge. All that hair dye is breaking her hair off at the roots and she's only in her 20's. Doesn't she notice?????
If she let her teeth get to that point, I can't imagine the dirt and grime "downstairs".
Who dis woman, Harpo? How is she is morphing into Leann Rimes...
Does she ever say anything that's true?? Jeebus she must think we're all dumb crack hos like her. Now, I hope she does something with that bathtub drain reject mess on her head.
She lies so easily, anyone with good eyesight can tell those are not the same teeth - they are shaped differently. Those are veneers.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Submitted by heima on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 2:23am.
I didn't know either, so I googled it. Yup, it's a teeth cleaning procedure done by a dentist,
Submitted by parkerj on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 6:43am.
Yeah, it's pretty obvious. Those teeth are much longer than her real teeth were.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 5:11pm.
Me too! I LOVE getting my teeth cleaned. It's like a massage. For my teef & gums.
Have you ever shot the Water Pik up your nose?? It's awesome!
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What?!?
Oh pathetic Whore you heard the news about your disgusting meth teeth. Now go suck some more cock. Suck it good cuz you still have that weave to fix.
Is there someone here who may kindly explain to a non native English speaker what 'zoom' is? A teeth bleaching procedure or something like that?
Anyway, after the teeth, I'd suggest her to do something to that hair of hers, blonde doesn't suit her.
Oh, and then there's that crack/coke situation also...
She may be the only living actress who is perfect to play Squeaky Fromme, and they'd have to pretty her up to do it.
Isn't she perfect for a cameo in Breaking Bad?
Too bad dentists can't restore hairlines too...
Gnite horz - my poor tired eyes can't take anymore of your funnay as I try to catch up here...but I'll be back and soon....MOOOOoooooOOOOOoooooh! (I'm a ghost cow, get it?!:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
Supposedly Dina will be at court on Wednesday for the hearing. Lindsay bought the ticket herself to make sure she'd be there. That is the LAST thing Lindsay needs!
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I got me loving you
I had you loving me
- Barbra Streisand
her mom must be proud of this fine jewel, i bet under those veneers there are nothing but rotten teeffs some sort of stuck burned popcorn.
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Don't fuck with me fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo. "Joan Crawford"
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 8:11pm.
Not the right colors, IMHO. The Boe-Moe can is much more white with red and gold accents. Her can is mainly gold and has that tell-tale brown A & W swoosh at the top. Any other guesses are appreciated, but I have to go man my front porch against mischief night hoodlums. Sleep well!
Submitted by Raven on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 8:34pm.
Pageant flippers
Submitted by Andrei on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 8:29pm.
NO WAY. C'mon man, no WAY.
Cripes. That's as freaky as enjoying pulling nose-hairs (which makes my eyes water even mentioning it).
I suppose if Hansel & Gretel had been teen-agers instead of young pre-teen scrappers, they could have just plucked their pubes and left those as a trail to remember by instead of bread-crumbs.
nice veneers .... that is not just whitening. still a liar.
I knew a girl once who liked to pluck her armpit hair with tweezers because she liked how it felt.
Submitted by Spoiled on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 8:01pm.
Actually, sorry to disappoint all, but with the brown swoosh, gold can & orange accents it looks very much like A & W Vanilla Cream Soda, no?:
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I was thinking it looked like a can of National Bohemian beer, Baltimore's pride and joy:
http://www.beershowcase.com/saleitems/othercans/nattyold0509.jpg
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Submitted by Wood Dragon on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 6:20pm.
Same here. I want to fart in her general direction on occasion and then I realize her parental guidance was NILL and I waver between feeling guilty over ripping on her and hoping she goes to the light.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 8:03pm.
You give her way too much credit. I'd place her in more of a "dumpster diver" role with a mad case of scabies, the rabies and the flu.
Submitted by Spoiled on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 8:01pm.
Wow. Mad props to her dentist. Holy sheeeeeeeet.
Submitted by HellaciousB on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 7:54pm.
Mister Ed the Meth head. I get it now!
At this point, the only role she's suitable for is an extra on the Walking Dead.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Actually, sorry to disappoint all, but with the brown swoosh, gold can & orange accents it looks very much like A & W Vanilla Cream Soda, no?:
http://www.americana.lu/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab3352...
P. S. Here's a good old teef/new teef comparison:
http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/lohan-meeth...
She has the same teeth as Lee Ann Rimes now.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 5:38pm.
oh, JFC. It never ends.
What a great role model!
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Oh, I see... she is celebrating Dia de los Muertos. How festive.
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK
Someone please tell this young lady the "flashdance" look is no longer in vogue.
While we're at it, a shower and some RidX is in order.
That is all.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
WOT?? angel_i???
How are ya, darlin`? Been hiding out?
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 6:37pm.
angel_l ! I haven't seen you in a while.
I mean, this is the shit she chooses to fix? Priorities!
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Right?! Nuff said.
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
I googled "meth mouth" and now I want to hug and kiss my dentist and thank God he exists.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
I oscillate between hating this idiot and feeling sorry for her. She never had a chance with the idiots she has for parents.
Submitted by Cognitive Dissonance on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 5:57pm.
Tragedy is only something to laugh about when it happens to a Lohan.
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"I bet Michael Lohan's sperm comes out of his peen yelling screaming and pissed off at the world, all the sperms are getting into fights with each other about who gets to swim where and shit." -- Whamo
I'd lick her nicotine infused smegma.
I still see jacked-up teeth underneath.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 1:19pm.
she went to the Masnion Party last night.
http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/63957099.html
I can see she is really worried about Wednesday's court date
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I can't believe she brought her dad to the party!
Whatever. Her hairline is still fucked.
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"I prefer my pieces the same way I prefer my Slim Jims, long, lean and mute" --the incomparable MK
I don't like to floss. One tome my dentist told me that I could get away with just a single visit a year! Uhhhmmm....no thanks. The more visits you miss the mo painful your visits will be.
Lindsay has got no excuse for having already having fake teeth at such a young age. I know it's the drugs that have fucked them up, but wouldn't it have helped if she visited the dentist more often in an effort to keep her teef healthy?
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Submitted by Migraineuse on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 5:36pm.
lol! This could explain the behavior of so many people!
Honestly, I have met some people who I just thought were ADD with really bad teeth and it never occurred to me that they could be meth-heads. Kind of sad really. Nothing to laugh about. The human condition is full of sad stories.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 5:38pm.
oh, JFC. It never ends.
http://www.tmz.com/2011/10/30/michael-lohan-arrest-warrant/#.Tq3glnKLOBw
lol, that POS hypocrite
oh, JFC. It never ends.
http://www.tmz.com/2011/10/30/michael-lohan-arrest-warrant/#.Tq3glnKLOBw
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I got me loving you
I had you loving me
- Barbra Streisand
Submitted by Cognitive Dissonance on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 5:06pm.
Methbrain is what happens to your brain after you've done meth too long, and/or had the misfortune to be born a Lohan.
Symptoms include kleptomania, reckless driving, lying to judges, faking heart attacks, and demanding blowjobs, with a side dish of general sociopathy.
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"I bet Michael Lohan's sperm comes out of his peen yelling screaming and pissed off at the world, all the sperms are getting into fights with each other about who gets to swim where and shit." -- Whamo
Is that beer in the cup on the nightstand, or has she collected someone else's urine to use for her next drug test?