Fanny Confirms The Obvious
When pictures of Fantasia with a swole gut full of something came out last month, she tried to say that she was putting the chunk on her body to play Mahalia Jackson in a biopic. Well, you can officially add the "I'm playing Mahalia Jackson in a biopic" excuse to your list of "what to tell nosy hos when your fetus sack is starting to grow." Because at a charity concert for the opening of an apartment complex in Jacksonville, FL yesterday, Fanny announced that she's got a God-given baby in her womb.
You know what perfect is? Perfect is Fanny announcing at the opening of an apartment complex in Florida that the married dick she met at a T-Mobile store knocked her up. Throw in two audience members bitch fighting over a few complimentary pens and you've got my kind of pregnancy announcement! Really, you almost expect Tyler Perry to come out on stage and take a bow for writing this mess.
YBF has a video (click here to see that mess) of Fanny conjuring up a whole lot of shaking heads and eye rolls when she stopped the open house festivities to say:
For a while I walked around figuring out what will they say and what will they think about me. But now I tell you I don't live my life for folk.This child that I am carrying...... God has given me this child. And I don't have to hide it from none of y'all.
Fanny hasn't said who the father is, but you really don't need Maury to tell you that the seed that made her fetus came from Antwaun Cook. Fanny was knocked up with Antwaun's baby last year, but she had an abortion after she tried offing herself because his wife sued her for wrecking their home.
My favorite part is Fanny saying that God gifted her with that child. Listen, bitch, just because that dick makes you cum halos and holler so loud that it makes the angels' clits quiver doesn't give you the right to call Antwaun's peen "God." God is washing his hands (with spermicide) of this. Something that Antwaun should've done to his rubber-covered dick before he went balls deep.
And I think I speak for all of us when I say that our feelings about this Not Going To End Well shit are best expressed through the eloquent words of Aunt Bunny:
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I discovered your weblog website on google and examine a number of of your early posts. Proceed to maintain up the superb operate. I just extra up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. In search of ahead to reading extra from you afterward!
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Submitted by LOW BUDGET BYTCH on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:04pm:
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In the words of Aunt Bunny. "GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL PLEASE." If holding my nose up to someone who conducts herself as such is being "biased." Then I guess I'm biased. I come from a family who are Faaaar from wealthy. I myself am faaar from wealthy. And where I grew up can be dubbed as "trailertrash" And my grandfather (though not black) was looked down upon because of his heritage and like blacks had to go to a school for his "kind". And you know what? My ass is in school, trying to do something with myself, I don't sit here and be like, well I act like an illiterate scandalous whore because of my background or my family or what socio-economic class I grew up in. At some point you have to stop pointing fingers and blame and just man up and realize, at some point, your life is what you make it. Fan, just chose to keep herself an ignorant ditch pig.
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Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 10:48pm.
My heart goes out to Fanny. Unlike some other Idolers, she hasn't succumbed to drugs, though her drug might be bad relationships. Despite the fame and attention and money, she is still deeply insecure. (There have been one or two fallen Idols on "Celebrity Rehab," and the last woman, the one with the piercings, red hair, and kid, had such a soulful voice.) I find that Jordan whatshername a total cornball who bores the living shit out of me (what an expression; like there's dead shit?). Also, with the exception of her supposedly being mad that she wasn't asked to sing some solo in Aretha Franklin's honour or something like that, I haven't heard stories about Fanny being an asshole. Dumb, yes, but mean? No.
As for frat parties, in Sweden recently (sometime this year or last), a fraternity had a slave auction, complete with blackface and chains. Here it is (this happens so often at US universities...):
http://www.upi.com/Top_News/World-News/2011/04/19/Swedish-students-hold-...
What I want to know is what happened to Ruben "Damn, I'm Sorry" Studdard?
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 10:31pm.
Yoo hoooooo!
I agree, "ghetto" is used entirely too freely. I'd rather use a good ol' fashioned swear word than ghetto. It's not the N-word, but I feel it has a heavy negative and racial connotation. I grew up in the hood and was lucky enough to attend and experience a big university where I discovered how color blind society really isn't, with the racially-themed frat parties and other shit that wasn't quite so obvious but you knew it was there and leaves you thinking - holy shit, this is the 21st century, right? Can't people be more creative than using tired, old stereotypes?
Anywho, just my two centavos and my beaner ass is out.
*ducks from flying burritos*
No hate for Fantasia and her baby to be.
But Fantasia as Mahalia? If she pulls it off, she should get an oscar, cause i just don't see it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Amnesty International
Shine a Light
La Chaylo, yoo hoo...
Submitted by sonah22 on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 4:52pm.
These comments make me sad also. They lack any empathy from someone who came from a difficult background to get a chance out of poverty, and now she can afford to fully take care of a child, unlike how she was obviously raised. It is not surprising that she was almost illiterate into an adult age-very common among the poor of this country. I think in many ways she is a cinderella story, but unfortunately her background and its difficulties and a lack of examples for her growing up hold her back. It is very difficult to move up social classes. And any one with a cursory understanding of simple psychology would know that she was definitely traumatically abused as a child-it's all in the voice. Have some sense about classism and the educational divide in this country, and perhaps you will not judge her for her "ghettoness." And Dlisted supposedly has more "intelligent" commentators. Right...
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Well said. While I found the "Strangers with Candy" episode on illiteracy hilarious (Noblick teaching Jerri to read is priceless), in reality it's sad when someone can't read. I do think "ghetto" is thrown around too often by folks who have no idea what one is like (regardless of their ethnicity). Of course, it can be used affectionately, too, but all too often, and here, that's not the case (same with the term "white trash"). Anyway, Fanny is a mess, and I hope that whatever money she has left is used toward caring for her kids and not her leechy family (major side eye at that lazy ass brother who pretends to be a music producer) or some guy who lies to her and tells her that she's pretty and everything to him. And again, performing at the opening of an apartment complex? People, this is not some Andre Balazs fete, okay? Oh, Fanny.
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 10:10pm.
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:24pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:19pm.
You did need the lesson and i'm swarthy now.
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And bewilderingly smug almost to the point of endearment until one is reminded that you're kind of an asshole. And the only lesson you could teach me is about how to tell the difference between Long Island and New Jersey santorum. But thanks anyway, Provy!!!! (Insert insipid emoticon here, too.)
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Lol, is this for real or are you guys joking with one another?
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She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 10:10pm.
Hi there, Bjork You love! I missed this place. Some lively discussion going on in this thread tonight. Fanny's ears must be burning, and it's not her singing. (I just can't with her voice.)
Submitted by sonah22 on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 4:52pm.
These comments make me sad also. They lack any empathy from someone who came from a difficult background to get a chance out of poverty, and now she can afford to fully take care of a child, unlike how she was obviously raised. It is not surprising that she was almost illiterate into an adult age-very common among the poor of this country. I think in many ways she is a cinderella story, but unfortunately her background and its difficulties and a lack of examples for her growing up hold her back. It is very difficult to move up social classes. And any one with a cursory understanding of simple psychology would know that she was definitely traumatically abused as a child-it's all in the voice. Have some sense about classism and the educational divide in this country, and perhaps you will not judge her for her "ghettoness." And Dlisted supposedly has more "intelligent" commentators. Right...
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Word.
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She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:24pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:19pm.
You did need the lesson and i'm swarthy now.
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And bewilderingly smug almost to the point of endearment until one is reminded that you're kind of an asshole. And the only lesson you could teach me is about how to tell the difference between Long Island and New Jersey santorum. But thanks anyway, Provy!!!! (Insert insipid emoticon here, too.)
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:52pm.
She's definitely the kind you keep in the field, and not in the house.
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Are we in a time warp? Sounded like 1865 for a minute. Holy effing shit, dude.
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"I'm just going to stop at the 24-hour donut shop and then go home."
"What are you depressed about? Or celebrating?"
So, really, no one knows if she's Italian? I'm still pondering how she got that last name. I googled and her father is black - he *could* be mixed, but I dunno.
--Her father is Dominican
"It is better to have loved and lost dick than to have never had dick at all."
==Dick Solomon
Third Rock From the Sun
*ugh* The mouth and legs are always open for business.
"Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 11:37am.
I do feel a teeny bit sorry for her. If a person in the USA is illiterate it's because they have a hardcore disability or no one cared and they fell through the cracks."
I do too, Hekki. Shit. Are we catching a case of 'the empathy' in our old age? I've never been in her kind of situation, but I was once involved with a guy who had a steady gf. Fucker broke my heart into a million pieces. I can accept that. What I can't accept is that I let him do it to me in the first. Nearly ten years later, I'm still ashamed of the way I acted.
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
that motherfucker was a motherfucker - miles davis
wow, is her voice ever painful to listen to. and i thought listening to her sing was torture!
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:52pm.
She's definitely the kind you keep in the field, and not in the house.
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Hey Ms. Low Budget, this dumb cunt just proved you right!
Hate her baby voice, and her head looks like an eggplant.
"Girl, please," indeed.
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"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK
These comments make me sad also. They lack any empathy from someone who came from a difficult background to get a chance out of poverty, and now she can afford to fully take care of a child, unlike how she was obviously raised. It is not surprising that she was almost illiterate into an adult age-very common among the poor of this country. I think in many ways she is a cinderella story, but unfortunately her background and its difficulties and a lack of examples for her growing up hold her back. It is very difficult to move up social classes. And any one with a cursory understanding of simple psychology would know that she was definitely traumatically abused as a child-it's all in the voice. Have some sense about classism and the educational divide in this country, and perhaps you will not judge her for her "ghettoness." And Dlisted supposedly has more "intelligent" commentators. Right...
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"...bask again in the beauty CoCo graced Miami Beach with this afternoon. This is what a Christmas ham dinner on the angels' dinner table looks like in heaven. I bet she farts out pineapple rings." -MK
Perhaps this "noveau riche" celeb should start feeling a little more entitled.
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Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 10:36am.
Submitted by LOW BUDGET BYTCH on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 10:31am.
A lot of these comments smack with racism (and classism). dudes wife up homely low income white broads all day long, and that doesn't upset anyone. Why? because of the inherent value of whiteness. Being white automatically makes you more valued in this society. I really feel bad for Fanny. She is a mess. Its hard out of there for a fugly black woman.
Fantasia can't read your post. Lol.
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BWAHRAHAHAHA!!! Pwned! Aaaaand....we're done.
MK!
Why are you dissing on poor Fannie Mae?? The judge threw out the wife's case cuz it turns out, they really *were* legally seperated when Fannie started climbing Antwaun (I can't with that name)....
ps - someone may have already brought up this point but I don't have enough life in me to scroll through 130 comments...
Submitted by dementa on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:52pm.
Being you just wiki'd two names you've never heard of you'd see that "Caso, p.57 and Welsh, They Too Made America Great; Branden Books, 1978. This history includes a detailed exploration and affirmation of the well established Italian origin of the Paca family of Maryland in response to the earlier Stiverson and Jacobsen text." if you scrolled down a bit more. Detailed AND affirmation, do you understand what those words mean?
"And for your dumbass points, Italians were not considered "white" then, and were not for a very long time into the 20th century."
Being they were allowed to hold office, own property and marry anyone they please, i'm gonna go with no. But the ball is in your court now, prove it.
Poor Fanny! No one ever taught her how to perform like a lady on stage. She always looks like an angry troll eating monster.
In her quote, she says that the unborn baby is a gift from god. This is an immaculate conception! Angelina and her brood better watch it cuz this baby will have a horde of angels waiting on it hand and, um, golden wing!
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:13pm.
Nobody said exactly 0%. The point is that there were hardly any Italian-Americans until the late 19th-century, and most of THOSE were mostly Anglo except from a great-granny from Italy or whatever.
Paca's ancestry is only backed up by a comment from over a century later, and Rodney's was from his ancestors from Europe.
And for your dumbass points, Italians were not considered "white" then, and were not for a very long time into the 20th century. Did your historically knowledgeable self know that?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:19pm.
You did need the lesson and i'm swarthy now.
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:13pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:03pm.
Not many isn't zero. Cherokee were allowed to own slaves, also Caesar Rodney and William Paca (whose family *gasp* owned a plantation) were italians that signed the Declaration of Independence, so poof goes your mickey mouse "white status" point...
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"...your mickey mouse 'white status' point..." Mickey Mouse? Goofy, please. And I don't need a lesson in history from you either, Provolone. Yes, there were some slaveholding Native Americans, as well as slaveholding African Americans. I didn't write "none" (I wrote "not many") and Italian American-owning slaveholders were more an anomaly, okay? Don't worry, Provy, you are very white.
Ewwww!!!! This bitch is beyond nasty and that picture just epitomizes her! Put some fucking shoes on for fuck's sake you fucking hillbilly!
She is so gross and ignorant.
So let me get this straight, God gave her this baby but not the one she aborted????
And please tell me it is not true that the married baby daddy works at a T Mobile store!!!!!!!
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 2:03pm.
Not many isn't zero. Cherokee were allowed to own slaves, also Caesar Rodney and William Paca (whose family *gasp* owned a plantation) were italians that signed the Declaration of Independence, so poof goes your mickey mouse "white status" point...
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 11:46am.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 11:32am.
I'll put my money on that an italian guy owned one of those "farms" that fantasia's great great grandwhatever "worked" at.
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Nope, not many Italian slave owners in the U.S. at the time and certainly not owning anything close to a plantation. Besides, they didn't even have their status of white yet in the U.S.
When I read the headline, I thought she was going to confim that she's obese. Apparently she's pregnant but she was obese first.
On another note, who in their right mind would name their kid Ant-waun?
Submitted by LOW BUDGET BYTCH on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:04pm: "all the equal opportunity assholes are very entertaining. i thought the description of Fanny as gruesome was spot-on..."
I agree. Fanny is truly a mess.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 11:32am: "
So, really, no one knows if she's Italian? ...I googled and her father is black..."
Same difference. Folks have all kinds of names from slavery (actual fucking and/or slave trading), colonization, marrying, and name changing for the hell of it. Whatever, Fanny is a mess, period.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 9:32am.
Mahalia Jackson....one of those voices you hear and go "Who is THAT?" I'd be interested in a biopic since all I know is she was popular in the 40-50s for her gospel. She wasn't a Billie Holiday that's for sure lifestyle wise. What a booming voice - when she sings "Fall on your knees!" you do it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNY0DBlYnZc
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Mahalia rocked; she demanded cash up front for all performances.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 9:14am.
The plus side: she sang for charity.
Negative: everything else.
Never understood this Kracken's appeal.
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Hey LaChaylo! The Kracken, much to Zeus's dismay, has been released.*
*I will always picture Zeus as looking like Laurence Olivier. Always.
sorry wrong thread
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by Richiegay on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 8:42am: "I hope she lip syncs Mahalia, if I have to listen to J Hud butcher Nina Simone's 'I'm Feeling Good' one more time I may shoot my TV out."
Ditto, ditto, ditto. I loathe that commercial. She was so much more humble when she was fat, god forgive me (the other god, not the one who knocked up Fanny and the Virgin Mary).
oh wow what a shame... i didn't know fantasia was a singer until i googled her. and i think i commented on one of the threads about her before *gives herself a side eye* oh yeah, i remember that she tried to off herself. is that the girl?
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
*fans self*
This is the most dlisted love I've gotten in two years!!
*passes around jager bombs*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I love what Stoney said and I agree wholeheartedly!
:)
Submitted by cake coke and cock on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:01pm.
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I'm just gonna come out and hereby declare my love for Stoney. That's all.
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Oh no - back off, coke and cock! I saw Stoney first
[*kisses Stoney shrine while renewing membership to Stoney Lovers of America club*]
why do I keep hearing her say "I gots to birf"
No, there were not many Italian slave owners. The majority were of English, Irish and Scottish decent. Italians immigrated later and more to the Northeast, like New York and New Jersey.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:19pm.
Um, I don't think there were any Italian slaveowners, were there? Most Italians immigrated much later. They also tended to be dirt poor.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
All of a sudden I feel like I could be a lead dancer in Swan Lake. Fantasia is just begging for the Why Are You Such A Fucking Lady-tag.
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:17pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:15pm.
Nah, that was just Dirk, Jason and Terry ;)
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That doesn't explain why LeBron's ass still hurts.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 11:32am.
So, really, no one knows if she's Italian? I'm still pondering how she got that last name. I googled and her father is black - he *could* be mixed, but I dunno.
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I am sure she got it the same way my husband got his ultra Irish last name. Back in the day, slaves were forced to take on the last name of their slave-owners and kept it , once freed...
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:15pm.
Nah, that was just Dirk, Jason and Terry ;)
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:08pm.
I'm pretty fucking sure GOD didn't knock this bitch up.
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Yeah, I'm pretty sure he was fucking the Miami Heat's playoff run that week.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"