Tyra Banks Killed Crystal Swift Wind!
Let's all bow our heads in mourning and pour one out for She-Ra's horse Crystal Swift Wind who was brutally butchered by the first lady of crazy Ty Ty Banks. If She-Ra wasn't just a plastic action figure who lives on a shelf in my closet, she'd avenge the murder of her best friend. Look at that crazy ass murdering bitch smiling a crazy smile while wearing Crystal Swift Wind's wing as a trophy. It's truly a sad day. R.I.P. Crystal Swift Wind.
Ty Ty tried to explain that mess of a bedazzled wing on her eye during an interview with Good Morning America to promote her teen fiction novel called Modelland. Ty Ty put the sparkle on the crazy when she explained it like this:
"So at Modelland, this fantasy world I've created for my novel, if you find one of these, which I call a Smize. It increase your chances of getting into the most exclusive school in the entire world. The school that creates that the most amazing supermodels called Intoxibellas. It increases your chances by 91%."
No bitch, it only increases your chances of looking like a damn fool by 91%. Why didn't that wing do its job and make her face fly away?
• 
Still have that in a box somewhere. Still infinitely less embarrassing than Tyra or her attempts as writing.
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
"I K R??? I thought the same after trying to read a Jodi Picoult novel and getting so annoyed with her writing style. *whispers* Don't tell Rusty Hooligan I read a Jodi Picoult novel..."
THANK YOU!!
She is TERRIBLE!
WTF is she going on about? 91%, how random.
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"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK
I had this horse as a kid and I never knew what its name was.
I guess it was a horse with no name.
I believe (S)Toner's avi represents my feelings about this new "adventure".
Submitted by _meh_ on Thu, 07/21/2011 - 9:39pm.
Oh Tyra. You let the crazy fly so high girl.
I cant understand anything in that statement she made.
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My EXACT thoughts!!
Wow. This "novel" sounds like some major dumb shit.
Send this dumb ho back to where she came from...Inglewood.
The first model in green, the one on the left, would look better with two smizes.
Tyra is batshit insane. Toxibellas? Yeah, throw a little Twilight in there too you dumb bitch, no one is buying it.
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
Aw, I totally had that horse! Thanks for the memories MK
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
This isn't Tyra's first book. I read her first book "Beauty Inside and Out" back in '98 when I was 13 lol. The only thing I remember is her talking about how Jennifer Lopez was a gorgeous, natural latina. lol, back then I did not know they would both be around so long. geez
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
FUCK me.
dbl post
"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Submitted by ditquoi on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 7:58am.
I've been telling my husband for a while that we need to come up with some shit...any shit, and get paid. clearly, people will plunk down cash for ANYTHING. O_o
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I K R??? I thought the same after trying to read a Jodi Picoult novel and getting so annoyed with her writing style. *whispers* Don't tell Rusty Hooligan I read a Jodi Picoult novel...
"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
And this is why i worry for teenage girls today. being exposed to toxic shit like this!
This is so many flavors of wrong I don't know where to begin (it's still early). TyTy sucked all the patience from me (re: her) years ago. This smize; copyright Tyra Banks) crap and the way she expands her ridiculous empire is on my last nerve. Doesn't China or the Ukraine need her brand of character/beauty building? Ship her out on the next Smize Ship to Stardom. (Which never returns.......)
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Submitted by ajaraja on Thu, 07/21/2011 - 9:16pm.
my goodness, this book couldn't be stupider if Jessica Simpson did some whip its before writing it.
I've been telling my husband for a while that we need to come up with some shit...any shit, and get paid. clearly, people will plunk down cash for ANYTHING. O_o
I didn't know She Ra's horse's first name is Crystal...I thought it was just Swift Wind.
dlisted is so educational. :D
Anyone else read that as: "Tyra Banks killed by a swift crystal wind", and then get disappointed when you see the error of your ways? Also, why are models held in such high regard? Aren't they just hungry walking mannequins? I must be missing something...
Holy Shit.
Who the fuck gave this ho a book deal?
And someone tell Rob Pattinson that we found out what happened to the other half of his sparkly unicorn hair.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 6:31am.
This is just what the world needs- another reinforcement that girls are only valued for their looks.
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As they say, THIS.
A SMIZE?! What a dumb bitch! I just can't with her!
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
what the hell is this POS yammering about now
shadddup
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
So she's doing a non-creative rip off of Harry Potter and Willy Wonka? Idiot. And the publishing industry wonders why sales are in the toilet.
This is just what the world needs- another reinforcement that girls are only valued for their looks.
@Bossy
Ditto, Tyra is as gorgeous as she is crazy. I can't help but love/loathe her. I still mad that jade isn't in this season though.
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
Morning, horz.
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Thanks, Thought Police. Where would any of us be without your vigilance?-Kenneth G
Ok this nonsense plastered upon her face is just ridicul-arse but her face does look gorgeous.
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"The booming cackle let out by Tina Knowles was hot enough to curl every weave in a 5-mile radius." MK
1) With the heat index it's 100+ degrees in NY these days. So she has some beads of sweat on her face...um people behind her also look like they sprayed crisco on their face. Relax.
2) She's gorgeous. People can bitch all they want but this woman is still a looker.
I'll see her book at Dollar Tree in six months.
Tyra is not helping with the narcissism epidemic
"On a reality TV show, a girl planning her sweet sixteen wants a major road blocked off so a marching band can precede her grand entrance on a red carpet. Five times as many Americans undergo plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures as ten years ago, and ordinary people hire fake paparazzi to follow them around to make them look famous..."
"which I call a Smize."
nooo NOO! SHE'S SERIOUS!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
She's so pretty...
And so damn crazy.
Too much blush! I hate this trend of applying so much blush it looks like you have rosacea.
It's funny how her insanity and mean spirit totally cover up her natural good looks. Almost renders her beauty invisible.
Honestly, that woman is Zoolander in real life.
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"Puritanism is the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy" - H. L. Mencken
Maybe I should release a trashy p.o.s novel,aimed at teens and that could become a bestseller,too.BTW,Intoxibellas sounds like a medical name for alcohol-induced diarrhea.
Hey, in this economy, I can't hate a bitch for trying.
does she have vaseline under her nose?
does.not.compute.
why is this crazy bitch still around? and what kind of models go to the most exclusive school in the whole world? pourquoi? and where did she come up with 91%? what the fuck is this bitch on?
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Not that this is an Angie Jo post, but I bumped into this story about how her kids eat so many crickets that she's afraid they'll start to get sick on 'em. She said that they are like potato chips, ROFL. I'm not knocking eating crickets, per say... but I was unaware you could get crickets TO GO.
http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/07/21/angelina-jolies-kids-eat-cricket...
LOL the last two thumbnails are so broke down its like Cleveland's Next Top Model on youtube :)
Check out that greasy sweaty upper lip. Reminds me when this ho reached in the dumpster for an old stocking and flung it over her head. I think her insanity stems from looking at her reflection in the mirror pre-pound of paint
Has tyra being dieting too much? her face looks weird. or maybe its surgery?
And as much as I hate that fucking bitch Naomi Campbell, I gotta say, Naomi looks way better than Tyra.
Green bitch #2 in the last 2 thumbnails needs some damn Nivea. She's looking ASHY 'round the elbows and ankles.
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
THIS bitch.
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
Poor MK. Don't worry ill dress up in a she-ra costume and git tyra!!
Tyra - a person with some ambition, delusions of grandeur, out-of-control narcissism and not much talent.
It'll end up in the discount kindle bin first release.
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It's true...it's a good thing she knows how to Smize cuz when she's not working her face she just looks crazy.
♥ Threadkilla!
Real Life Twitter, Celebrity Edition:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6550621/real-life-twitter-2-celebrity-...
Thank god gays cum glitter cause Swift Wind is still with us at 12am to 1am each night!!! I think shes a shim...Deep voice great hair and sparkles til the cruz's come out the closet with Omarian and RazB fuckin a care bear
Not Crystal Swift Wind! What next - will she turn Lookie into a fascinator?!?!?!
THE HORROR
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"House arrest sounds like a dream!" - hermit crabs
She perpetuates eating disorders, racial stereotypes and promotes all around shitty demeaning traits in women. She needs to go the fuck away afore Oprah comes and done snatches this fucking famewhore ride she's been riding on from underneath her stupid ass and lets her flop like she should.
I hate Tyra. She's just a dumb bitch.