Lord Tom Ford Will Not Use His Baby As A Press Tool
Tom Ford would like you to know that if a tiny human was ever lucky enough to find itself suckling liquid gold out of his cashmere-covered tete stud (that's "nipple" to us non-fashion deities out there), he will never push his baby in a stroller made by Fameswhores 'R Us down the ho stroll. Tom will keep his child hidden form the public. You know, it would be like Rapunzel but with luxurious clothes, a sultry 70s soundtrack and NO FATTIES! Tom Ford puckered this out to Time Out Hong King (via The Cut):
"If I have children, no one will know about it until the child is born. And no one will ever see the child because I certainly wouldn’t use it as a press tool. If I have a child, you’ll see and notice that I had a child. Maybe you’ll see it when it’s 18, but I will keep it out of the spotlight. I wouldn’t use it as a press tool, as some people I know, have, recently.”
The piece of zombie hyde wrapped around Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe's cheek bone must be smelling like musky disdain and ostrich leather, because Tom Ford has just slapped her with his glove and walked away.
Tom's lips are saying that he will keep his baby locked away in a mirrored and mink tower because he doesn't want to use it (I love when hos call babies "its") to summon the spotlight, but we all know the real reason why. Most babies are short in the legs, hairless in the face and don't know the difference between Beluga and Osetra caviar. Tom Ford cannot be seen with an uncouth ruffian like that! Tom Ford's baby needs ample amount of time to marinate in sophistication and develop a perfectly manicured beard that is refined enough to pass for The Queen's merkin.
And here's Chupa taking Chupa Jr. out for a press tour the other day. Chupa Jr. thanks Tom Ford for throwing shade his way.
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What a awesome baby. Congrats to you both. thanks for the pictures.
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{(º,_,º)} Crystal
what a hot bitch he is…
"can he be my sperm donor?
NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
I hate this piece of shit for mumerous reasons. One of them being when he told an overweight guy that he didn't want people like him in his store. That kind of thing really upsets me. Tom being gay should know what it's like to be marginalised and put down by ignorant people.
Turned out the guy was a millionaire lol. But because he was big and didn't dress well Tom probably thought he was a penniless slob.
He is also a raving narcissist, I pity a baby living with this pretentious wanker.
Tom Ford you sessy beach!
Since this hot. ness. dont want poon-tang I
volunteer to come back next life as his it.
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'Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now'-BK
Submitted by icallbs: karl: ascot, dipped in newborn baby blood, three fingers of absinthe, vitriol and complete with a blood diamond stickpin lent to him by naomi campbell.
tom: italian leather driving gloves dipped in madonna's roidy arm vein blood and bitterness.
close, you think?
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I'd pay money.
Tom's unusually fond of the phrase "press tool".
I only say that when I'm about to prod Levi Johnston with a stick.
The Moody Blues Go Now
The best part is this bloated ego calling his future child "it" over and over again. I don't think he'd have to work too hard to keep "it" a secret, considering most people really wouldn't care.
He's freakishly perfect-looking and probably spends hours getting dressed in the morning, but even though I'm neither a man nor gay, I'd hit him so hard, one or both of us would be blind.
He wouldn't need to worry about having any biological children because his dick would be all bent to hell and his balls would be dry husks.
Will Miss Ford fuck a fish (LESBIANISM MOST FOUL !) to make a baby?
This cunt has taste. Next.
Guess I'm in the minority--he actually does nothing for me. I can't see a man that takes the amount of time to look this flawless getting down and dirty enough to double stuff my Oreo. He looks like he'd hand you a vibrator and offer to Vogue for a few minutes. He looks like a prissy version of Jason Statham.
And...you have a idealized version of what parenthood will be like for you, and it's all neat and organized and perfect...until the kid arrives, and as anyone who is a parent knows (at least the ones who actually do hands-on care) all bets are off. And those who foist it all off on the nannies are only sperm and egg donors so they don't count in my book. The nannies are the ones raising the kids, and that makes them parents-for-hire.
I know he's gayer than an Ungaro frock but I so would.
Good Luck to Mr.Ford trying to hide a baby being a public figure.
Submitted by Bat_Boy on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 11:40am.
Submitted by icallbs: tom, please move to the back of the line. kunty karl is, was and always will be - the biggest C of all.
you shall not pass.
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If Kunty Karl and Tom Ford were in a dueling face off, what do you think the weapon of choice would be? I can picture Kunty Karl in a high collar and black form-fitting tee with sleeves ripped off... oh my the options.
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off the top of my head -
karl: ascot, dipped in newborn baby blood, three fingers of absinthe, vitriol and complete with a blood diamond stickpin lent to him by naomi campbell.
tom: italian leather driving gloves dipped in madonna's roidy arm vein blood and bitterness.
close, you think?
That is the skinniest mothers arm holding a baby I have ever seen, and I live in SoCal, so that's saying something.
it looks weirdddddd
TomFord® is one of the few people who should procreate. Jeez how does he keep looking younger. Where do I sell my soul to look that hot?
She *does* look like the unhappiest new-mother I've seen in awhile... also really awkward holding that baby. But she does look younger post-pregnancy. Must be the 5 lb baby weight a previous poster commented on. But wow... look at those shoes... that only flies in CA, I think. Too much walking anywhere else. That skinny, those shoes and she still doesn't look tall.
Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:39pm.
@Lucifer,
I been scouring eBay for lego Speed! thx.
Good luck! Damn, if I had that I'd spend all day with it.
I had a huge crush on Racer X when I was like 7. Ok, ok, I STILL DO.
Submitted by Miss Thang on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:36pm.
I hate this asshole but I must admit he is beautifully manicured at all times. That takes a lot of work.
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more like a whole fucking village. But he is FLAWLESS. which is probably why he's a bad lay. too busy looking at himself in the mirror the whole time and making sure he doesn't chip his manicure.
@Lucifer,
I been scouring eBay for lego Speed! thx.
*reading up on this Tom slut*
I hate this asshole but I must admit he is beautifully manicured at all times. That takes a lot of work.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:22pm.
Okay, Tom. Now shut up and fuck me.
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CTH, lol
I'm not sure I'm clear as to what you want from Tom. Please be more direct? =P
Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:19pm.
*slides hands in pockets; whistles; shame-face cause I didn't even read the post and doesn't watch much tv*
It's ok I'll SHARE my fashion magazines with you.
I'm loving your Mac 5!
Okay, Tom. Now shut up and fuck me.
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What a friend I have in jesus, I can say that
honestly. He's not like all my other friends who really don't care about me.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:05pm.
Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 11:56am.
Who is this dude?
GIRL, YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE
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*slides hands in pockets; whistles; shame-face cause I didn't even read the post and doesn't watch much tv*
Snideychick sez:
Tom Ford: Hated that he fucked up the formula for Opium. Now it smells like crap and the Walgreen's knock-off smells more like the original. Still, he does do bitchy well enough.
The Zoe Creature: I've NEVER seen a more unhappy new mother! Bitch is probably pissed that pregnancy made her gain 5 lbs, and she's resenting the hell out of that poor baby. Get your priorities straight bitch; baby first, looking fashionable second.
Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 11:56am.
Who is this dude?
GIRL, YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE
D:
Who is this dude? *looks around confused for whoever I gave my last fuck to*
Oh dear raisin face looks " over the moon" and totally connected to her child. Just look at the way she lovingly holds him with in her rexi arms, staring into his eyes with love as she feeds him. Poor kid:(
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
Yet you WILL issue a statement about what you WON'T do knowing full well that it will get you some publicity?
Phoney-ass.
so she cant be seen in daylight with her spawn because people take pictures of it? Fuck off.
I want to have Tom's baby....
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
Submitted by icallbs: tom, please move to the back of the line. kunty karl is, was and always will be - the biggest C of all.
you shall not pass.
~-~-~-~-~
If Kunty Karl and Tom Ford were in a dueling face off, what do you think the weapon of choice would be? I can picture Kunty Karl in a high collar and black form-fitting tee with sleeves ripped off... oh my the options.
SOMETHING IN THE MILK AIN'T CLEAN
Holy shit 168 comments for Sweetas's post, 106 for Jack's... and 35 for MK's.
Actually ELTON JOHN came to mind right away. I tend to think the 'SIDE EYE' was actually being thrown in THAT direction.
The real concern however, is the fact that he referred to his alleged future child as 'IT' six (6) times!
This guy shouldn't ever have the responsibility of a living breathing child!
tom, please move to the back of the line. kunty karl is, was and always will be - the biggest C of all.
you shall not pass.
I find Tom Ford creepy and inauthentic. I'd rather look at Chupa's leathery face.
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How can Chupa's skeleton arm support the weight of that babeh?
After Pink's rant I'm not keep to see pictures of Baby Chupa. It's fucked up to stalk and take pictures of someone else's kid.
P.S. The bulimia lines on her mouth are, as always, stunning.
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twerk those stumps!
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 10:56am.
Angle! *squeezes yer nalgas*
She looks like a grandmother not a mother ... and who in their right turf-diddling mind wears high heels with sweat pants ... and wedges no less!
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"I'm bluffin with my muffin."
If I have children, no one will know about it until the child is born.
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So waddyagonna do? Lock the bitch in the basement for year?
LOLOLOL@DoubleDee btw:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
Who's this bitch kidding. The only baby Tom would have is if he wrapped a baby bonnet around his mirror.
How's that big queen going to have a baby? I can just see him buying a stork and then yelling at it for not bringing him a perfect 6 1/2 lb. blue eyed blonde baby.
see, i read this: "The piece of zombie hyde wrapped around Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe's cheek bone must be smelling like musky disdain and ostrich leather, because Tom Ford has just slapped her with his glove and walked away." and i thought, "damn, one of the guest bloggers is doing a great MK, but, as usual, MK is just doing himself. really well. :)
...
but, then again, what do i know?
Hey, it looks like Chupa maybe gained an ounce.
Can't imagine TF achieving consummation. His sperm would be so sharp it would pierce any womb it entered. Maybe a Limoges petri dish could handle it.
I love this bitch so much. He's amazing.
I covet her stroller.
That would be so nice to push my grandson around in.
Hopefully not when he's 15 though.
He is gorgeous and while I agree with his sentiment (I'm looking at you Katie Holmes), he's a touch on the bitchy side. I get the feeling he thinks he's the gay Don Draper.
LOL AT DEATH STAR JONES.
That picture has me in stitches!
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Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Sat, 06/25/2011 - 8:13am.
Ziggy, I hope you fall off your soap box. Then people will pay attention... to the green alien blood.