And It’s All James Bond’s Fault!

November 9, 2010 / Posted by:

This picture of Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky was taken at the Toronto Film Festival premiere of Black Swan in September, but apparently they retired their genitals from each other long before this shit was taken. A rep for Rachel and Darren tells TMZ that they officially quit each other after 9 years together. They split up a few months ago.

The rep says that Rachel and Darren, the man responsible for bringing us Jennifer Connelly’s ass-to-ass scene in Requiem For A Dream, have changed the status of their relationship from full-time fuck partners to friends and will continue to raise their 4-year-old son together in NYC. Rachel and Darren never got married so fortunately for them they don’t have to whip out their Sharpies to check the “irreconcilable differences” box on divorce papers.

I haven’t heard any whispers around the quad as to why Darren and Rachel broke up, but TMZ has it on good authority that she has been bumping nipples with this bitch for months:

DANIEL CRAIG, you homewrecking slut whore royale! Who knew Daniel Craig had a certificate from Sienna Miller’s Community College of Bulldoze Fucking hanging on his wall? Daniel has been with that Satsuki Mitchell chick for years, but I guess he handed her an empty cardboard box and relieved her of her duties.

Now, I haven’t seen Darren dick situation (click here for Daniel’s), but I can still say with full confidence that this definitely lands under the UP-FUCKING-GRADE category. However, that ass-to-ass scene still makes cameos in my nightmares from time to time so Darren has that going for him. I’ll spread my cheeks and sit on the fence on this until the dick situation part gets cleared up.

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