Seth Meyers Is The New Host Of Late Night

NBC announced today that when Jimmy Fallon takes over The Tonight Show from Jay Leno, Seth Meyers will slide into Jimmy’s spot as the host of Late Night. Yeah, typing that made me picture Seth sliding into Jimmy’s spot and I don’t know how I feel about that image.

Because what late night really needs is more white men, Seth will take over Late Night next spring and Lorne Michaels will executive produce. Here’s what the head bitch at NBC had to say about this:

“We think Seth is one of the brightest, most insightful comedy writers and performers of his generation. His years at SNL‘s Weekend Update desk, not to mention being head writer of the show for many seasons, helped him hone a topical brand of comedy that is perfect for the Late Night franchise”.

Charles Ramsey, Tan Mom and Sweet Brown were all ROBBED! Since Up All Night was finally thrown into the dead pile, I was hoping that Maya Rudolph as Ava would host Late Night… Oh well, hopefully this means that Stefan will finally take over Weekend Update. It’s his destiny.

Who Made The Hos Salivate More?

The men all paused when Seth Meyers walked into the room at last night’s CFDA Awards in NYC wearing the “slutty, preppy pilgrim in mourning” look Marc Jacobs wore to the Met Ball last month. We’ve got a good old-fashioned fashion off! Bitches, take your corners and get ready to strut to the death.

Marc Jacobs: Marc gets a grand total of zero points, because even if he’s giving sass, he ruined the whole look with those blinding white boxers. Unless he’s wearing piss-catching panties underneath those boxers, imagine all the shaking he had to do at the urinal to keep his peen from leaking on those shorts. VPS (visible piss stains) bring out the Kardashians and nobody wants that.

Seth Meyers: Seth gets all the points, because he did this as a joke and even if he didn’t do it as a joke, he has the nipples to pull it off.

So Seth Meyers wins! Now can we drop that entire tragic ensemble into Anna Wintour’s witch cauldron so we don’t have to ever see it again?