Jason Collins Becomes The NBA’s First Openly Gay Player After Signing With The Nets

RT to welcome @jasoncollins34 to Brooklyn! #Nets pic.twitter.com/D05R9td9cx

— Brooklyn Nets (@BrooklynNets) February 23, 2014

And to answer the question in your head after reading that headline, yes, I had to Google to see what the NBA stood for, because I wasn’t quite sure. The National Beyonce Admirers Club? The National footBall Association? The National Basketball Association? Yeah, that’s it.

Back in April, professional 35-year-old basketball player Jason Collins did the hand-to-face pose on the cover of Sports Illustrated and announced that yes, he likes peen and man ass. Jason was a free agent at the time, but he’s a free agent no more. The Brooklyn Nets tweeted a picture of Jason Collins signing a 10-day contract with their asses. The Nets burped out this statement to USA Today after Jason Collins signed his name on the contract, making that shit official:

“The decision to sign Jason was a basketball decision. We needed to increase our depth inside, and with his experience and size, we felt he was the right choice for a 10-day contract. Jason told us that his goal was to earn another contract with an NBA team. Today, I want to commend him on achieving his goal. I know everyone in the NBA family is excited for him and proud that our league fosters an inclusive and respectful environment.”

I had to look up that 10-day contract shit, because I thought it was a typo and then thought that these motherfuckers created the 10-day contract for Jason and Jason only. Homophobic whores! But I guess the 10-day contract is pretty normal this late in the season. The 10-day contract is when a free agent type signs a contract which lasts 10 days or 3 games, whichever comes first. A team can only sign a player to two 10-day contracts. After the 10 or 20 days is up, the team either has to say their goodbyes or sign the player up for the rest of the season. The more we all know.

ESPN says that Jason Collins is expected to play tonight during the Nets vs. Lakers game. So I guess this means that for the first time in the history of my life, I’m going to watch a basketball game tonight. Fire up the bong. I’m going to need it.