Open Post: Hosted By Calvin Klein And His Rent-A-Piece

It looks like 67-year-old Calvin Klein is still “mentoring” and “guiding” 20-year-old model/porn star Nick Gruber. Here’s the Super Saver version of Kunty Karl and his leased muse having lunch in NYC yesterday afternoon, and I hear that Nick spent 45 minutes watching in horror as Calvin tried to open his mouth wide enough to stick a piece of wet lettuce in there. Nick wasn’t watching in horror because it took Calvin 45 minutes to eat a piece of lettuce, he was frozen in terror knowing that he might see that piece of lettuce later when he wipes his sugar daddy’s ass.

You know, it’s wrong of me to assume that a 20-year-old model is only hanging around with a rich old fashion designer to further his career and fill his bags with enough expensive shit to sell on eBay later when he needs to pay his rent. Maybe this is genuine. Maybe one day a local news crew will interview Nick’s parents who will say, “Oh, we’re not surprised about Nick’s relationship with Calvin. When he was 16, we would always catch him humping an old Madame mask in the garage.”