Night Crumbs

Penelope Cruz and the Spanish Jeffrey Dean Morgan made another baby and will they please name their kid Concepcion. Will somebody please name their baby Concepcion, so I can't stop going on and on about it! - Just Jared

Charlize Theron gets one step closer to looking completely like a twink boy bander circa 2002 - Lainey Gossip

Lindsay Lohan should try Larry H. Parker - The Superficial 

An illegal act = cutting a topless Ryan Gosling scene from a movie - Towleroad

Emily Ratajkowski, who ever that is, is serving up extra large portions of patriotic elegance - Hollywood Tuna 

Rooney Mara is dressed like a Russian toddler at her baptism - Celebitchy

I'm getting a slight 1990s Nicole Kidman vibe from Evan Rachel Wood in Cosmo - Drunken Stepfather

And now I'm picturing Jennifer Lawrence putting a level on her tits - IDLYITW

The cat knows a broke down unicorn horn when he sees one and refuses to have that on his head. Pussy has standards! - OMG Blog

Models look funny when they model - Popoholic

Isabella Cruise bleached and dyed her hair Thetans - ICYDK

As I scrolled through all of these pictures of hot pieces with six packs galore, I could see the dusty ab roller in the corner judging me hard - The Berry 

Maybe it's because it's Friday and the excitement is clouding my better judgement, but Katie Holmes doesn't look so haggard here - Popsugar

RIP Barney Bush - Buzzfeed

Further proof that the Steve Jobs biopic starring Ashton Kutcher is going be an iMess - SOW

But did Larry King lick Katie Couric's teeth with his lizard tongue after their date? - Videogum

Is that hipster Snow White with Marion Cotillard? - Cityrag

What in rental tablecloth hell is Joanna Krupa wearing? - I'm Not Obsessed

If I squint I can almost see if he's Jewish or not - Hollywood Rag 

It's nice to see that Beyonce's Foxxy Cleopatra wig found another home on Al Pacino's head - Kenneth in the (212)

Guess who is putting the assy in classy by showing her love for Obama on her nalgas? And yes, I'm buying a pair of these sweats for Victoria Jackson and Clint Eastwood - Popoholic

Sony is trying to do the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo sequel on a budget when they shouldn't do it at all - Lainey Gossip

Kim Kardashian is really trying to trump Jessica Simpson's pregnancy weight record - The Superficial 

Leighton Meester or your average Los Angeles hipster who wears UGHs to be ironic? - Hollywood Tuna 

Says the dude who was in the travesty of fuckery that was Spider-Man 3 - Celebitchy

In happy news, the dog who was taken to a kill shelter because his dumb as cat shit owner thought he was gay has been saved. But for why does he need to be neutered? He's gay! - Towleroad

January Jones gets Bowie-ized, is still as boring as potato flakes - Drunken Stepfather

The Scientology bath house will play this song every time John Travolta sashays in - OMG Blog

SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON - ICYDK

Dan Marino learns that when you cheat on your wife, it's best to do it while wearing a condom. Your checking account will thank you later - IDLYITW

To fap or not to fap to Billy Bush? In related news, I hate myself - Just Jared

It really isn't right that Lara Flynn Boyle looks like she'd taste delicious with a squirt of lemon and a dollop of tartar sauce - The Berry 

Jessica Simpson's best friend made a baby with Murray from Clueless - Popsugar

Lil Wayne's album cover is very Silence of the Lambs - Crunk + Disorderly

But can Adam Levine suck his own peen is what I really want to know - Boy Culture

Staying dumb: Twit & Twat are - Videogum

Try not to clutch your anal beads out of shock, but racist foolery exists in porn - Jezebel

Getting a homemade tattoo is the closet Lindsay Lohan will get to prison - Cityrag

The sweats.... The Coors Light truck... I wish this picture of Brit Brit came in a velvet version, because I'd love to hang it over my toilet - I'm Not Obsessed

Guess who got this temporary eagle tattoo? Hint: It was probably drawn on using actual blood from an endangered bald eagle and it's better than your tattoo - Lainey Gossip

Presenting Bill Clinton's "the things I'd like my cigar to do to her" face - The Superficial 

Miserable-looking Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutchie may look miserable in Chicago - Celebitchy

Red, white and CHICHICHIIIIIIS - Hollywood Tuna  

Amanda Seyfried as Linda Lovelace looks more like a young Shelley Duvall as Rose McGowan - Towleroad

You can choose to look at Miley Cyrus in a bikini or you can put your eyeballs on Thor's anaconda arm - Drunken Stepfather

On this Inauguration Day, I wish I was wearing an exquisitely classy American flag outfit - The Berry 

Olivia Munn's got metal brows over her tits - Popoholic

This news is extremely shocking coming from a completely stable, classy and sane couple like Jenelle Evans and Courtland Rogers - ICYDK

Katy Perry brought her wayfarer-wearing tampon to the Inauguration today - Just Jared

Okay, so how many times do you think Al Roker sharted when he met Joe Biden? - Buzzfeed

Leonardo DiCatchAHo is a brave bitch for standing in front of Naomi Campbell when she's got her weapon of choice in her hand - Popsugar

George Stephanopoulos thinks all black old men with snowy beards look the same - Celebslam

I really though Nicole Richie was carrying her kid around in a shopping bag. I was like, "That's a good idea!" - I'm Not Obsessed

Mario Cotillard as a pre-waxed Kardashian - Cityrag

Things that will exist: Girls, the reality show - Videogum

What in the name of Amy Winehouse as a slutty gladiator is Kat Graham wearing? - Moe Jackson

Kanye West's ex-piece is telling us something we already knew - Crunk + Disorderly

The 70s had Bob Marley for a stoner idol and we have RiRi. It really is the end of days. - Hollywood Rag

A really hot Charlize Theron or a really hot twink who Papa Joe would like to sit next to? - Popoholic

ScarJo's busted down Cat on a Hot Tin Roof wig looks like it was made from actual cat fur - Lainey Gossip

And five minutes later, Snoop Dogg wrapped her in rolling papers and smoked her up - Hollywood Tuna 

Excuse me, I have to go make business cards for my pet sitting services - Towleroad

Pfft, 91-year-old Betty White is not impressed with Jennifer Lawrence's ass - The Superficial 

And the country's supply of clip-on bangs will sell out in 3..2.. - Celebitchy

The like, teachings of like, Scientology, has like, really made, like, Erika, like Christensen, really, like elo, like, quent, like - ICYDK

George Clooney's nutsack looks like Joan Rivers - IDLYITW

Emma Stone. In a bra. On W Magazine. - Popsugar

Headline of the Minute: Plastic Wife Keeps Labia in a Jar  - Drunken Stepfather

Lakers game? Bitch, please. More like back room circle jerk - Just Jared

Just put your mouth on the screen and scroll - The Berry 

Channing Tatum shaved his head to try to distract you from the fact that he stole your abuelita's daytime cardigan - Popsugar

Lily Allen's brother doesn't have a shirt on. Do with this what you will  - I'm Not Obsessed

Seeing RiRi like this makes me miss the natural talents of Adina Howard. And we can (boom-boom) all through the night to the early morn! - Hollywood Tuna 

January 11th should become an international holiday, because a David Bowie sighting is about as rare and magical as seeing a unicorn twirl under a triple rainbow - Lainey Gossip

And on the next very special and serious episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, we learn that Uncle Poodle has HIV and is suing the boyfriend who allegedly gave it to him - Towleroad

Jessica "I Don't Date Actors" Chastain is dating an actor - Celebitchy

Katherine Webb thinks she's the anti-Kardashian - The Superficial  

Panty pudding inducers galore and I'm sure you've got an extra serving of panty pudding for #25 - The Berry 

"Puppy pussy" is not a phrase I expected to see today - Drunken Stepfather

Woe is still Mindy McCready's life - ICYDK

That's one way to make sure your crotch is smelling fresh and clean - Popoholic

Jessica Simpson will star in an NBC comedy based on her life. I really hope Ellen Degeneres plays Papa Joe - Popsugar

The Silver Fox is not a gold star gay - SOW

One word explanation for this fuckery: JAPAN - OMG Blog

Jennifer Lawrence thinks she's too trashy for the Actors Studio - I'm Not Obsessed

Vanessa Bryant's eyebrows look like they're trying to escape her face by heading north - Crunk + Disorderly 

The Goonies did it better - Videogum

Minka Kelly and Chris Evans are still a thing - Just Jared

Did we all time travel back to 1999 and not know it, because for why are there so many pictures of Carmen Electra lately? - Hollywood Rag 

This is the part of your day where your nips squirt out a little syrup from thinking about Ryan Gosling singing "I Want It That Way" - IDLYITW

The black Belkin mousepad next to me looks more like natural hair than the crap on John Travolta's head - Celebslam

Justin Timberlake put out his new song with Jay-Z last night and if this song is his way of trying to get us to beg him to go back to making movies, it's working - IDLYITW

I want to drink from a bottle labeled DRINK ME so that I can shrink down to size and then roll around naked on Daniel Day-Lewis' luscious silver mop - Lainey Gossip 

CONFIRMED: Alexander Skarsgard's double peen print tells me that he's got enough peen to go around! - The Superficial 

If I don't have to wear chonies under the man dress, I'm in - Towleroad

Sarah Hyland got Vergara-ized - Hollywood Tuna 

Julianne Moore was the definition of ginger perfection last night - Celebitchy

Sharon Osbourne's voodoo spell on Lady CaCa worked, because the bitch split her pants - Drunken Stepfather

Why isn't celebrity facemath a subject in high school? It should be - The Berry 

Since Los Angeles is freezing over (it's like 55 degrees) and has entered its ice age, I'm surprised Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez aren't wearing UGGs, parkas and Burberry scarves with their dresses - Popoholic

Nicole Kidman should've worn an "I Peed On Zac Efron" t-shirt to the Golden Globes last night to remind all of us why she deserved to win - Popsugar

Chloe Moretz got fake engaged to her teenage boyfriend and her ring is still prettier than Angelina Jolie's - Just Jared

ESCANDALO! Natalie Wood might've been beaten before she drowned to death - ICYDK

Carmen Electra tries to bring the sexy while doing missionary with a yellow exercise ball - Hollywood Rag

And the best Golden Globes moment not captured by a camera goes to Bill Clinton hitting up (insert the name of every woman there) - Moe Jackson 

Halle Berry must really want another Razzie - I'm Not Obsessed

Of course there's going to be a reality show about Wahlburgers - Videogum

Jimmie Walker wants black people to stop complaining - Crunk + Disorderly

Katie Holmes' signature herp sore is making a comeback - Celebslam

The most elegant goddess in the world and the pride of Germany, Micaela Schäfer, is a beautiful Christmas angel. Take in the yule tide glory of her shaved crotch while I call Germany's version of the ASPCA - Drunken Stepfather

"What's a school bus?" said Beyonce right before she posed in front of one - Lainey Gossip 

Everyone's on acid in this messed up Arnold Schwarzenegger Christmas video. Everyone, even the children - The Superficial

Senator Daredevil has a terrifying ring to it - Towleroad

A hard-tittied rose blooms in Barbados - Hollywood Tuna 

Happy Fappalooza Friday! - The Berry 

Can we get video of Sharon Stone acting crazy at her son's school, because that sounds like her greatest performance since Diabolique - Celebitchy

Russell Crowe = the face of your worst hangover - Just Jared

Kat Von D is lasering Vanilla Gorilla off of her body - ICYDK

Didn't Tommy Girl wear that coat in Valkyrie? Is it the same one? Naw, it can't be. That one looks bigger than a child's size XS - Popoholic

Keri Russell's got Justin Bieber's 2011 hair on her head and it's not the look - Popsugar

James Franco still thinks he's a messiah to the gay community - OMG Blog

Kelly Brook and a banana - Hollywood Rag

Those Christmas tree strawberries look like something found on a Kleenex - Cityrag

The MTV Movie Awards still exist and Rebel Wilson is hosting them - Moe Jackson 

The This End of the World trailer needs more jokes about James Franco sucking peen - I'm Not Obsessed

Instragram changed their policies after Pimp Mama Kris threatened to flash Bruce Jenner's tits at them if they didn't - IDLYITW

Meet the man who is overdosing on ass every night - Necole Bitchie 

Tracy Anderson knows that GOOPY was wearing a fat suit in Shallow Hal, right? - Jezebel

Jessica Simpson's daughter has already mastered the "step off " glare and it's going to come in handy for when she's a big sister - Popsugar

Katie Holmes is wearing the fanciest bib I've ever seen - Lainey Gossip

Thanks to the crazy pro-Romney and anti-gay marriage letter she wrote, Jane Pitt is finally getting an Angie-less Christmas this year - Celebitchy

How did Katie Price not immediately burst into flames from the side-eye and pout the bronzed unicorn on the right is throwing? - Hollywood Tuna 

Is a Sofia Vergara and Sharon Stone sex scene a straight dude and lesbian's wet dream or wet nightmare come to life? - The Superficial 

The only thing I got from the trailer for the second season of Girls is that during my ravers days I had that same yellow tank top Lena Dunham is wearing. I hate how the Internet makes you admit shit you wished you forgot about - Towleroad

Oh, how I wish this was Evan Longoria in lingerie instead - Drunken Stepfather

TWIST! Today's episode of "Hilary Duff Walks To Her Car" won't be seen so that we can bring you a very special episode of "Hilary Duff Walks AWAY From Her Car" - Popoholic

Jessica Biel is probably going to be a serial killer when she grows up - IDLYITW

Is #19 wearing panties made of pubes? I still would - The Berry 

And somewhere in her prenup, I'm sure Miley Cyrus will state that she's willing to give up full custody of Billy Ray Cyrus - ICYDK

To think, only a few years ago this headline would've read: Sienna Miller - I Would Wreck A Marriage Every Day! - Just Jared 

Um, I've been sending Christmas card farts for years - OMG Blog 

Even the side-eyes come in bulk at Costco - Crunk + Disorderly

Are we sure this isn't Jenelle from Teen Mom? - Hollywood Rag

Something to hold you over until the Honey Boo Boo Christmas Special - Cityrag

Even Isla Fisher is embarrassed by Sacha Baron Cohen - I'm Not Obsessed

Cut to 9 months later when Wonky McValtrex gives birth to a lazy-eyed troll wearing a diamond grill - Celebslam

The legendary butter dance gets the Adele treatment - Videogum

Cruella de Stone shows the young hos how to really make a hose (or two, or three, or four) rise  - Lainey Gossip

Your day isn't complete without a new set of pictures from the never-ending "Hilary Duff Walks To Her Car" series - Popoholic

Phoebe Price needs to call up her lawyers, because Sophie Turner is totally stealing her "random posing in the middle of an airport" act - Hollywood Tuna 

Guy Ritchie and Jacqui Ainsley had another baby and they're lucky that this one's not a boy or Madonna would've dated him in 18 years - Celebitchy

Dr. Oz should stick to telling us how our poops should be shaped like bananas  - Towleroad

I am only for this if Wolverine gets a big song and dance number at the end - The Superficial 

S&M Nickelodeon-style - Drunken Stepfather

Kristen Stewart needs to take her hair to the pet groomers - Popsugar

Jude Law is okay with not being the twink anymore - The Berry 

Here's Owen Wilson's nipples, because why not? - Just Jared

It looks like Zachary Quinto keeps a box of Veet For Your Butt in his bathroom cabinet - OMG Blog

And yet, this was still less painful than being married to Kim Kardashian for 72 seconds - Hollywood Rag 

Yes, Amanda Bynes is still insane - Cityrag

The blood stains on Halle Berry's driveway is totally a selling point - I'm Not Obsessed

The only thing I see is a spinning corn vibrator - Videogum

Kelly Monaco has a sex tape and those six words might be the most boring thing I've written all day. That's saying a lot - Celebslam

Gabriel Aubry and Olivier Martinez are still playing that "No, HE started it!" game - ICYDK

We get it, Jared Leto, we get it. You shaved off your brows and lost some weight for that movie. You can stop sucking in your stomach so hard that you look like an actual bookworm. Dude looks like he should be slithering out of an apple  - ICYDK

Brad Pitt is talking to People Magazine now - Lainey Gossip

If Bobbi Kristina Brown and her adopted brother can't make it work, none of us can - The Superficial 

And Bobbi Kristina Brown just drove her car off an embankment - TMZ

Mitt Romney joins Amanda Bynes, Michelle Obama and Hulk Hogan as some of the most least influential people of the year - Towleroad

Didn't Faye Dunaway wear this in Supergirl? - Hollywood Tuna 

In other words, TMZ is Team Halle Berry and Radar is Team Gabriel Aubry - Celebitchy

Adriana Lima is pregnant and clothed in the 2013 Pirelli calendar - Drunken Stepfather

The newest set of pictures in the never-ending "Hilary Duff Walks To Her Car" series - Popoholic

If you scroll down to the third picture, you'll see that Cosmo used the "strung out junkie" Photoshop tool on Carly Rae Jepsen - The Berry 

Shia LaDouche in la jorts - Popsugar

Entertainment Weekly does Mama June wrong by giving Ben Affleck her title - Just Jared

The city of Dallas should pay tribute to Larry Hagman by wrapping that green building in giant hairy eyebrows - SOW

Adam Levine is a diva - IDLYITW

The Facebook Profile Picture Prankster has a lot of time (wigs, spare butts and props) on his hands and we should be grateful for that - Crunk + Disorderly

Lisa Robin Kelly is still a messy, messy mess - Hollywood Rag 

Pussy and lamb love (not a Mimi porn post) - Cityrag

A.J. McLean is a dad again - I'm Not Obsessed