Every four years people in North America ask themselves: “Why are so many foreigners flying their flags this week?” I’ll tell you, Dave: it’s the FIFA World Cup! The football (soccer) tournament brings out all the hot athletes who don’t throw things: including Cristiano Ronaldo, professional skin bronzer and soccer star extraordinaire.
This FIFA season apparently brought out the love in Cristiano, as The Mirror reports he decided to use this tournament to pop the question to his girlfriend and mother of his most recent child, Georgina Rodriguez. Love is in the air at the Russia World Cup! I mean, unless you’re gay.
Georgina, whose been humping on Ronaldo for over a year, showed off a big-ol-hunking-piece-o-jewelry while watching one of his matches, starting rumors the two are engaged. It’s a nice ring, for sure, but in this celebrity marriage climate I think it’s best to get as huge a ring as possible. Look at Mariah Carey: never know what you’ll have to do with that jewelry after the fact.
— UniEntretenimiento (@univisionent) June 21, 2018
Cristiano, who already has more children than I would ever care to keep alive (he has four; Cristiano Ronaldo Jr, twins Eva and Mateo and newest Alana), is a huge family guy and has previously gushed about being a dad saying:
“Being a father is a unique and personal journey. It’s taught me things about love that I never knew existed. It has softened me and given me a different perspective on what is really important in my life. I can’t wait to be a dad again. Being a father and seeing my family grow is without doubt the greatest privilege I’ve had. Spending time with them, being by their side, smiling and laughing with them. They’ve brought a lot of happiness and joy to my life.”
It’s all fun and games until your child grows up and starts talking back. Ask Tommy Lee.
Crispy had a lot to celebrate because he also won his soccer matches, not that this audience cares about him winning sports things. We care about the bronze nipples! We care about his dangerous penis! Call me when he proposes to her naked on a beach.