Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Gigi The Giraffe!

The diabolical, dead-hearted overlords at Amazon and Walmart all cackled into the air last night as they toasted with flutes filled with the tears of their underpaid and overworked workers before feasting on roasted giraffe while celebrating the inevitable death of Toys ‘R’ Us. Toys ‘R’ Us filed for bankruptcy last year, so I doubt anybody felt the emotion called “shock” when they announced yesterday that they have no choice but to liquidate and close all 800 of their stores in the U.S. They’re billions in debt and only have enough cash to keep them going until May. And just like that, every Toys ‘R’ Us kid suddenly grew up, whether they like it or not.

Even though Toys ‘R’ Us still brought in 15 to 20 percent of all toy sales in the U.S. last year, they couldn’t stay out of the red. CNBC says that Toys ‘R’ Us is trying to keep Geoffrey The Giraffe alive in the U.S. (Toys ‘R’ Us Canada is still open and isn’t closing.) They’re working on a proposal that’ll keep 200 stores open after they sell everything they need to sell. If you’ve got a Toys ‘R’ Us gift card, or need to make a return, you better get your ass together and run on over there, because you only have around 60 days.

So there’s a chance that Geoffrey The Giraffe won’t have to post an ad on Backpages looking for a generou$$$$ date who is into tall, lanky spotted hunks and don’t mind standing on a ladder while hitting that ass. Thinking about the future of Geoffrey the Giraffe made me think about his past, which made me think about his wife Gigi The Giraffe!

17 years after Toys ‘R’ Us was founded, Geoffrey The Giraffe was born and became its mascot in 1965. Geoffrey was based on a cartoon giraffe named Dr. G. Raffe, who was the mascot of Children’s Bargaintown, the predecessor of Toys ‘R’ Us. Geoffrey became the face and spokesgiraffe of Toys ‘R’ Us, and eventually became so popular that he got his own line of products, regularly made store appearances and starred in the commercials. Toys ‘R’ Us decided to bring Geoffrey The Giraffe’s family into the spotlight when they introduced the world to his wife Gigi The Giraffe and their kids, Junior and Baby Gee in 1975.

Here’s a Christmas commercial from 1976 starring Geoffrey, Baby Gee and Gigi, who is outshining them all in that pixie cut and Mary Tyler Moore drag. I guess contract re-negotiations between Junior and Toys ‘R’ Us broke down around this time, because he’s not in this one:

Geoffrey, Baby Gee and Gigi (and no Junior, again) also starred in this extra glamorous disco commercial in 1978.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqcKz1_sgOo

Geoffrey The Giraffe eventually got sick of sharing the spotlight with his family, because in the late-90s, Gigi and the kids were dropped. I don’t know if the fact that Gigi was getting more shine than Geoffrey (yes, she was, don’t argue with me!) ruined their marriage, or they’re still together and she just decided to retire from public life, but Toys ‘R’ Us needs her now more than ever. If she came back and became the glamorous face of Toys ‘R’ Us once again, sales would skyrocket and people wouldn’t care about paying more for a damn toy!

Pic: YouTube

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