Johnny Depp is broker than a motherfucker. So broke in fact, as we know too well, that he’s suing his former business managers for $25 million dollars. His suit claims that the firm, TMG, never warned him that he needed “slow his roll,” that they loaned $10 million dollars to third parties without his knowledge, failed to pay his taxes for him, made him sell his house in France, didn’t get him the pony he asked for last Christmas, and for generally being big stinky meanie heads.
Well, TMG is not about to let a 54-year-old toddler call them names, so they have responded with an amended cross complaint accusing Johnny of extravagant spending, not following their financial advice, not going to bed when told and having a sassy potty mouth. In the complaint, TMG details some of the spending they tried to get Johnny to curtail. The Hollywood Reporter says:
Depp charged more than $500,000 in rental fees for storage warehouses that hold his Hollywood collectibles, $17,000 in handbags and luggage at Prada and $7,000 for a Keeping Up With the Kardashians couch as a gift for his daughter, Lily-Rose, TMG claims.
I’m picturing the thought process Johnny went through on that last item “hmmm, what do you give the girl who has everything? I know, scabies!”. Since court documents need to be detailed and thorough, the TMG cross complaint is filled with all sorts of gooey nuggets about their addled man-child client. TMG says that Johnny “obsessively purchased Hollywood collectables” and at times requested TMG employees to:
Search his Ebay account twice a day to ensure that all the various items he demanded be purchased were purchased and paid for. Many of those items included worthless chatzki related to Depp himself which he would ultimately (if not immediately) place into one of these many storage facilities.
Can you imagine the hoarder hell inside the walls of those units? *shiver* The complaint is also peppered with salty language, in BOLD FACE, calling his allegations against TMG “patently outrageous”, “demonstrably false”, “patently frivolous” and “disingenuous to the extreme”. God I love/hate lawyers! Why are they always so extra?
As to the $10 million dollars in loans, TMG says Johnny knows exactly where that money went. The Hollywood Reporter also reports:
TMG also says it has learned through discovery the identities of the people to whom the actor claims his former business managers lent nearly $10 million of his money without his knowledge or permission. Their identities are redacted from the amended complaint — which TMG claims is to keep Depp from looking “ridiculous” because he’s still close with two of them.
Lawd child, that ship already had done sailed. Trying to keep Johnny Derp from looking ridiculous is like trying to keep a pirate from grabbing your booty. Between the charge that “Depp’s employees on his private island in the Bahamas racked up about a million dollars in charges related to the island’s expenses,” his wanting to dig tunnels to connect his mansions, and other extravagances too numerous to count, it’s no wonder Johnny is trying to squeeze a little sumpin’ sumpin’ out of every stone, including the poor folks at TMG. Well they are not the ones, Johnny! Now take your little Jack Sparrow bobble heads and what-not and go to bed immediately!