Idris Will Never Put A Ring On It

July 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Families fight. It’s a fact of life. But there’s one thing almost every member of the family can agree on: Idris Elba can get it. Sisters drop they panties for him. Aunties be making a fool out of themselves and getting them hot flashes over him. Moms be planning elaborate meals to feed him, should he ever drop by. Straight uncles be binge-watching Luther and questioning theyselves. Gay brothers already done told you ’bout him 10 years ago. Well, here’s some good news for the family to enjoy together: Idris is never going to disappoint you by marrying some unworthy chickenhead.

In a recent Essence interview, the twice divorced Idris let it be known that he doesn’t think marriage is for him. Here’s an excerpt from the upcoming August issue:

“Am I ever gonna get remarried? I don’t think so. Yeah, I don’t think so. Marriage is an institution of sorts. And I’ve done it. It’s not for everybody. It’s not my life’s calling.”

Of course, this doesn’t mean Idris will remain single forever. But it does mean, if he keeps his word (I’m looking at youGeorge Clooney) that we’ll never have to watch him get caught cheating or hear about a messy divorce like we have with so many other celebrities we’d like to get our mouths on. I want to thank Idris, for giving us the gift of keeping the fantasy alive. May you go forth and do good works, parting the seas of dropped panties and drawers with your eye on the prize. And we’ll keep our eyes on your caboose, as a service, to you. And please, drop by if you’re in the neighborhood, my family would love to have you for dinner. I mean over for dinner.


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