Mrs. Meeks Speaks

July 10, 2017 / Posted by:

After the shocking revelations last week that convicted felon cum model Jeremy Meeks was allegedly cheating on his wife with billionaire TopShop heiress Chloe Green, his wife has pulled a “Central Valley Lemonade” (as we call it in the biz) by giving an exclusive interview to The Daily Mail to air her grievances.

Melissa Meeks says she found out about the affair the same way the rest of us did; when ‘Some random person I don’t know sent a direct message with the photograph of my husband kissing that woman”. Now that the (blood) money is in the water, Melissa Meeks is seeking a divorce and a whole lot of sympathy.

Of course all of this attention is the best thing that’s ever happened to both Mr. and Mrs. Meeks. These two are really playing us for that cash money! When I first saw the picture of Chloe, Jeremy and his manager supposedly confirming the affair (Chloe has since deleted her entire Instagram account) I wasn’t sure who was zoomin’ whom. But this overwrought victim narrative by Melissa makes me wonder if the Meeks’ aren’t collectively zooming us all!

2meeks

This story has got it all and is ready for biopic treatment with Anne Hathaway starring as innocent, wronged Melissa Meeks.

Lies: CHECK!

Poor Melissa thought Jeremy was in Turkey promoting a new resort. After the news broke she tried to call him but he New Phone Who Dissed her. Adding insult to injury:

Meeks would later tell his wife that his phone did not work in Europe despite the fact he was able to post images from his romantic sojourn aboard the 164ft yacht Hazar Yildizi on social media, along with a clip of him waterskiing in the clear Mediterranean waters off Bodrum.

Devastated Children: CHECK!

“Did either of them think about the children and how this will affect them? They’re the innocent victims in this. And so am I.”

Literal Hand-Wringing: CHECK!

“Twisting her hands nervously, Melissa, who has lost half a stone through stress, said: ‘The first I learned of it was when I woke up and checked my phone.

Betrayal: CHECK!
“He started hanging out with celebrities. I wanted to be part of his world. We argued about it. He spent increasing amounts of time away from home and when he came home we rowed.”
**insert record scratch**
Rowed? Rowed? Am I supposed to believe that Melissa uses the extremely British word “row” when referring to a fight? Nah, son. I am not buying it for a second. This “interview” is about as sincere and earnest as the current administration. Not the “I never imagined” business and certainly not the use of words like “seismic shift“, “brazen” and “row“. But honestly, I’m not mad at her. I am here for whatever shenanigans you sneaky Meeks are up to. Just keep it sloppy and GET. THAT. MONEY.

Pic: Instagram

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