Harrison Ford Is Completely Off The Hook For That Taxiway Mess

April 3, 2017 / Posted by:

The next time you’re in a plane that’s taxiing, look out the window, because your eyeballs might get hit with the sparkle shooting off of Harrison Ford’s stunning earring as he flies over you while thinking he’s heading toward the runway. The FAA ruled that they won’t snatch away Harrison Ford’s pilot’s license or fine him for landing one of his helicopters Snoopy planes on the taxiway instead of a runway at John Wayne Airport in Orange County, CA back in February.

74-year-old Harrison Ford is free to continue flying, so everyone just stay away from golf courses – actually, stay inside with a helmet on and keep under a sturdy table because he could crash on your ass.

After the FAA declared that they’re not going to become an enemy of Indiana Jones by fucking with his flying fun, his lawyer released a statement to ABC News about what an accomplished pilot he is and blah blah. I’m a little disappointed that the statement didn’t end with saying that Harrison Ford also didn’t kill his wife!

“The FAA conducted a full investigation into the matter, including an interview with Mr. Ford, and determined that no administrative or enforcement action was warranted. Mr. Ford retains his pilot’s certificate without restriction.

In closing the matter, the agency acknowledged Mr. Ford’s long history of compliance with the Federal Aviation Regulations and his cooperative attitude during the investigation. Mr. Ford has held a pilot’s certificate for more than 20 years, has logged more than 5,000 hours in the air, and has never been the subject of an FAA administrative or enforcement action.”

It’s actually a good thing for us all that Harrison didn’t get in trouble. Because if a rich famous dude actually got punished for something, we’d all end up in the ER after our ass parts fell out due to shock. I know, look at me acting like I don’t regularly hear the words, “Oh hey, Michael, prolapse again?“, from an ER nurse.


Pic: Wenn.com

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