And now I hate myself for pressing my eyeballs against my monitor to see if I can make out a peen print on John Cougar’s gray sweats.
John Cougar Mellencamp and Meg Ryan were together on-and-off for about 4 years and they ended it for good in 2015. And well, if Hurts So Good ever comes on the radio as Meg Ryan is driving, she probably thinks to herself, “More like, hurt so bad,” before getting the heaves and changing the station. Because John says that Meg hates him more than she hates seeing a wrinkle on her mug. Meg ain’t alone, though. John says that many women can’t stand him and would rather fuck an actual cougar than talk to him again.
John was on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show (via People) yesterday and was asked if he still talks to Meg Ryan. He doesn’t and it’s because it’s kind of hard to have a conversation with someone when they tell you to suck on Satan’s asshole and eat shit whenever you call.
“Oh, women hate me. I loved Meg Ryan. She hates me to death.”
At least he kept it real when he admitted that women have a reason to hate him. John says that women hate him because they want to date a grown man and not a Justin Bieber trapped in the body of a 65-year-old human cigarette.
“I think it’s because I’m a child. I throw fits, I gripe, I complain. I’m moody. Every bad thing that a fella can be, that’s me.”
Howard asked John if he’s ever tried to make things good with Meg, and he has, but she is utterly and completely done with all things him.
“I’ve done that. She just doesn’t want anything to do with me. And I can’t blame her.”
Before Meg, John Cougar was married to model Elaine Irwin for 20 years. John says things between him and Elaine are good. After Meg, John Cougar got with Christie Brinkley, but that didn’t last.
It seems like John likes to date famous chicks, but since he’s publicly admitted that he’s an asshole brat, who’s going to want to get with him now? Not to mention that John smokes so much that his pre-jizz probably tastes like an outdoor Holiday Inn ashtray that hasn’t been changed since the late 80s. John may have to start dating broke gold diggers. Even then, the chicks would probably force a nanny to accompany them at all times. That way whenever he throws one of his fits, the nanny can put him in time out.
And it seems like John’s forehead keeps creeping further and further away from his face. Even it’s trying to get away from him.