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November 27, 2016 / Posted by:

Julie, The World’s Most Intelligent (And Fucking Scariest) Talking Doll!

Sometime in the 1980s, Worlds of Wonder, the nightmare makers behind many talking dolls, decided that one of their creations, Teddy Ruxpin, wasn’t terrifying enough, so they brought Julie to life. Julie made night terrors come true in 1987 and she was a doll who not only talked, but she could also do things on command, like sing, and could tell you if it was dark inside or bright. If you squeezed her too tight, she’d tell you it tickled and she could point to pictures in the book that came with her and tell you what it was. I don’t remember what was in the book, but I’m pretty sure that Julie would flip to a page with a picture of a gravestone on it and say, “This is where you’re going, eheheheheheheh.” Julie was like Talking Tina’s more maniacal cousin. She could scare the Satan out of Damien.

Julie also fooled people with her looks. Because of those droopy eyes and that jacked-up hair, you thought she was just a chill stoner who wanted to lay around eating nachos while watching Alf. But she was secretly plotting her takeover. Just look at that portrait of Julie on her packaging. It’s both extremely glamorous and extremely chilling. She looks like a young serial killer-in-the-making who also counts Ann Jillian as her style icon.

And here’s a video of a half-broken Julie in action:

My thoughts about that video are best expressed through 21 characters: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Pic: eBay

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