Night Crumbs

November 9, 2015 / Posted by:

Gwen Stefani wore these Etsy nightmare boots to church on Sunday and I don’t know what church she went to, but it’s surprising that those fugly demon shoes didn’t burst into flames as soon as she stepped into the house of the lord – Lainey Gossip 

Brandi Glanville and Kim Richards are back on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills because ratings. And it was really sweet of Brandi to wear that shirt in front of Kim – Reality Tea 

Duchess Kate is turning into the Goopy Paltrow of the British royal family – Celebitchy

Christina Milian continues to serve up 90s Yellow Pages call girl glamour – Drunken Stepfather

I know I’m supposed to be focusing on Jessica Simpson’s nipples, but it’s hard to do that while I’m wondering what the hell she’s wearing – The Superficial 

FYI: You know that gay Olympic snow person who is making everyone’s tip moist? Well, he’s got a man – Towleroad

Even DJ Tanner is telling the crazy Christians to calm down about Starbucks declaring war on Jesus for not putting Santa on their cups – IDLYITW

Now that Naya Rivera birthed out her baby, she can go back to looking like Kaya Kardashian – Popoholic

Taylor Swift is totally going to sue this dude for stealing her name…even though she was born after him – Jezebel

Matt Damon is such a dad – Popsugar

I suck at sports and even I’m better at catching balls with my mouth than this dog – The Berry 

This is probably what Giada de Laurentiis’ new man looks like – Starcasm

I am here for Jessica White’s slutty Elvira dress that’s made out of black licorice – The Nip Slip 

Miley Cyrus licked a piano for charity and I hope whoever bought it also got a complimentary Hazmat cleaning with it – Hollywood Tuna 

Azealia Banks canceled her entire tour. Now that she’s got some free time and her best friend forever Iggy Azalea’s got some free time, they can get together for playdates and kiki by the pool – Billboard

Chris Martin is happy to be alive after being in a low place a few years ago. That low place was probably the marble floor of his bathroom after Goopy made him do 3 organic lychee juice enemas in a row – HuffPo

Pic: Splash

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