For those of you who don’t know or forgot, the “newspaper” is sort of like the Internet except it’s on paper, they don’t have GIFs and if you write a comment like, “N1 CURRz, NEXT,” under an article, only you can see that comment. I know, fuck newspapers. But evidently, people still use them for stuff including announcing that they’re getting married.
Tom Daley is 21 years old, so I’m shocked that he knows what a newspaper is. But he does and he used The Times to announce that he’s marrying his 41-year-old man of 2 years, Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black. This is their old-fashioned and classy announcement which showed up in this morning’s Times:
I really hope announcing your engagement in a newspaper doesn’t become a thing, because I really, really love it when a couple announces their engagement in an annoying YouTube video.
Tom’s mom Debbie Daley also talked about her son’s engagement with the Plymouth Herald and she says they’re not going to get married until after the Olympics:
“The whole family is extremely excited and looking forward to the big day. They are going to wait until after the Olympic Games in Rio before they decide on the date of the wedding and where they want to marry. At the moment he is training in Stratford and focusing on competitions to prepare for Rio at the start of August. Training has always come first for him. Once Rio is out of the way, they will properly plan the wedding.”
Tom and DLB started dating when Tom was 19 years old. DLB is Tom’s first boyfriend ever. Tom must be one of those “old souls” people talk about and DLB must be one of those “young souls,” so they balance each other out. I could never date someone 20 years younger than me, because 1. It’d be highly illegal and; 2. I’m already an immature wreck and 2 immature wrecks in a relationship do not make a right. I also couldn’t imagine getting married at 21, because when I was 21, the only thing I wanted to get engaged to was a new dick every night. I wanted to put a ring on it alright and by “ring” I mean “butt ring” and by “it” I mean a new peen. Okay, I’ll stop before I really ruin this happy news. Anyway, congrats! And here’s the future Mr. and Mr. Daley-Black at the annual Pride of Britain Awards in London a few nights ago.