Open Post: Hosted By Thor’s Mighty Hammer

May 7, 2015 / Posted by:

Sign #456,982,455 for how you know you’re a thirsty trollop: Your tongue pressed against Chris Hemsworth’s silicone Pringles dick as soon as that screen shot came up. If I have more typos in this post than usual, it’s because I can’t see the keyboard since my tongue is glued to the goddamn screen.

I was kind of “meh” about the whole reboot of Vacation, because the last thing we as a people need is more “reboots” of 80s movies and what’s a Vacation movie without the gorgeous magnolia blossom Beverly D’Angelo in the lead female role? But my “meh” has turned into an ALL-CAPS, bolded YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS thanks to a few seconds in the newest trailer. Thor plays some character named who really cares who’s got a head full of golden 90s boy band hair and a pair of baggy chonies full of Marky Mark’s stunt dick from Boogie Nights. I’m so glad that stunt dick finally got more work. If you just want to watch Thor’s fake crotch hammer swing around like a girthy angel on a rope swing, click to around the 1:58 mark:

Yeah, they could’ve gottenĀ Jon Hamm to do it since he wouldn’t need to wear Marky Mark’s stunt dick, but the Hammaconda is an A-list peen and they couldn’t afford it.

via MYNPP (whose got GIFs of that glorious faux peen. Damn, I’m hard up.)

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