Open Post: Hosted By Thor’s Mighty Hammer

May 7, 2015 / Posted by:

Sign #456,982,455 for how you know you’re a thirsty trollop: Your tongue pressed against Chris Hemsworth’s silicone Pringles dick as soon as that screen shot came up. If I have more typos in this post than usual, it’s because I can’t see the keyboard since my tongue is glued to the goddamn screen.

I was kind of “meh” about the whole reboot of Vacation, because the last thing we as a people need is more “reboots” of 80s movies and what’s a Vacation movie without the gorgeous magnolia blossom Beverly D’Angelo in the lead female role? But my “meh” has turned into an ALL-CAPS, bolded YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS thanks to a few seconds in the newest trailer. Thor plays some character named who really cares who’s got a head full of golden 90s boy band hair and a pair of baggy chonies full of Marky Mark’s stunt dick from Boogie Nights. I’m so glad that stunt dick finally got more work. If you just want to watch Thor’s fake crotch hammer swing around like a girthy angel on a rope swing, click to around the 1:58 mark:

Yeah, they could’ve gottenĀ Jon Hamm to do it since he wouldn’t need to wear Marky Mark’s stunt dick, but the Hammaconda is an A-list peen and they couldn’t afford it.

via MYNPP (whose got GIFs of that glorious faux peen. Damn, I’m hard up.)

Tags:
SHARE
Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >