Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

September 11, 2014 / Posted by:

Our sexy TV actress seems to have quickly rebounded from a bitter breakup with her longtime beau. But her new hunky man isn’t as perfect as she wants us to believe. The problem: he has the body of a Greek god, but between the sheets, his personal equipment is only so-so. What’s a girl to do? Behind his back this actress is still shacking up with her well endowed ex. (Janet Charlton)

Sofia Vergara, Joe ManJello and that leaky Diva Cup known as Nick Loeb? In my mind, Joe ManJello is Big Dick Richie and his dick is so big that it can lift 300 pounds and it eats 4 pounds of raw steak daily. But if there’s a sliver of truth to this blind item, then who cares? He’s Joe ManJello! Who cares if his erect peen is about as big as an Ikea wooden dowel. Make that shit work. I’m sure his fingers are 9 inches and girthy, and if not, throw a strap-on on him. He’s Joe ManJello!

This newbie director who is well known for another gig he has totally unrelated to movies has been doing his best to try and get this former A list tweener to sleep with him. The director has been trying since day one of the shoot but the actor keeps putting him off. The director follows the actor around like a love struck puppy. He needs to do a better job filming and less time fawning. (CDAN)

Zac Efron and Max from Catfish? Zac might not want to hit that, but I totally would. I may not have the body of Zac Efron (shit, I don’t even have the body of Zac Brown), but if Max closed his eyes and pictured Zac’s six-pack as feeling like a Whoopee cushion full of dough, it could work!

This married B- list mostly movie actress who is only that high because of her name and relationship was at a gym this week and kept showing her female partner how to do yoga moves and it was obvious they were a couple. I’m just waiting for the divorce announcement. (CDAN)

Jessica Biel? But how was it obvious that they’re doing it? Were they doing the Downward Finger Bang pose?

Fashion Week – This OITNB actress was performing oral sex on another person in a bathroom when our actress suddenly got sick. She ran to the next stall and got sick and then came back still ready to go. Yeah, that must have been a big turn on. (CDAN)

It could be any of them and whichever one it is, is my new hero and is a slut champion. That’s how you do it. Don’t let a little bit of barf get in the way of you sucking some dick (or eating some cooch).

 

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