Night Crumbs

August 5, 2014 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan wants JK Rowling to ghost write her memoirs and I hope this happens, because I really want to read Crackie Firecrotch and The Crack House of Delusions, Crackie Firecrotch and the Drug Dealer’s Bone and¬†Crackie Firecrotch and the Crotch of FireCelebitchy

Add Elisabeth Moss’ name to the long-list of actors who might be in True Detective 2 and they can all try, but we all know that those roles are going to Angela Lansbury, Tyne Daly and Sharon Gless (I can always wish) – Lainey Gossip

Aviva Drescher’s 230-year-old horny turtle of a father married his 25-year-old girlfriend in Malibu and I give it 6 months or until their inevitable Bravo spin-off show gets canceled – Reality Tea

The dude version of Jennifer Lawrence does EminemThe Superficial

Lucy Hale’s on the cover of Cosmo looking like one of Taylor Dane’s back-up singers circa 1987 – Drunken Stepfather

Ariana Grande Latte’s Poochie-looking ass brother gets himself another serving of straight man meat in the Big Brother house – Towleroad

This might be the most riveting conversation in the history of The Bachelor universe – Jezebel

And here’s some Lindsay Lohan bikini pictures that might make you want to hum “Gollum’s Song” from Lord of the Rings Hollywood Tuna

BREAKING: Future DILF Ryan Gosling pumps ass (for real typo and it stays) – Popsugar

MiserAlba giving you prison resort wear – Popoholic

Dear all CNN journalists, clear out your offices, because the love child of Rojo Caliente and Dennis the Menace is coming for your job – The Berry

Harry Potter wants to be in SharknadoICYDK

CBS is replacing the white guy with an accent (Craig Ferguson) for a white guy with an accent (James Corden) – Pajiba

The drunk, messy CNN reporter who bit first responders was just hungry, that’s all – WWTDD

Reason #4,589,988 on why Japan is the best: One of the Shiba Inu 6 moved there to manage a bodega – OMG Blog

When Helen Mirrentwerks” she looks like she’s shooting out fart after fart, but she’s still better than MileySOW

Emma Roberts got a blonde weave installed into her head – HuffPo

Today in “You’re Old!,” a 17-year-old Lourdes Leon is smoking in the South of France – Moe Jackson

Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder adopted a horse together – Just Jared

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