Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

Which BFF models are actually lesbian lovers? Don’t be fooled by the high-profile relationship one of these beauties is supposedly in. It’s all a big, mutually beneficial cover up. Saucy! (Daily Mirror)

Cara Delevingne, Suki Waterhouse and Bradley Cooper? So Cara Delawhatever goes from Michelle Rodriguez to B. Coop’s beard and Michelle Rodriguez goes from Cara Delawhatever to Zac Efron? It’s like they’re all living in a bizarro random alternate universe, because in a perfect world a shirtless Zac Efron and Bradley Cooper would ride horses into the sunset together while Cara, Suki and MRod did whatever. Hmmm, I wonder if they ever get together and have a big bi-sexual orgy and yes, I’m wondering about that while pinching my nipple. In case you were about to ask….

Maybe this is what the girlfriends are for. He expects them to look great. And to just…look?

A few weeks ago at a Hollywood bar, playboy was partying without his bonafide. He had two of his crew with him. He’d been drinking. Or something. He seemed very …accessible and uninhibited. Once he found his target, he made his approach, with his friends as backup. After spending some time flirting with the dude, a very cute, young gay dude, he made a special request:

He asked him if he would be into a three-way situation, but the third participant would be a woman. The woman would be watching as the two of them got down. In his line of work, it’s all about variety. After so many years of anything at any time, he needs as many flavours as possible. (Lainey Gossip)

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio or B. Coop? But then again, maybe it’s Hugh Hefner. Maybe Hugh Hefner gets bored with watching yellow-haired, fake-tittied chick after yellow-haired, fake-tittied chick try not to heave while slurping on his dusty wrinkled salchicha. So he switches it up every now and again and gets into watching a twink try not to heave while slurping on his dusty wrinkled salchicha.

This celebrity couple has not announced their pregnancy yet. Why not? Because she is embarrassed that things didn’t go her way! She promised her Catholic family that she would be announcing her pregnancy and an engagement at the same time. However, despite her best efforts, the baby did not make him more committed to her. Exactly the opposite, in fact. Ouch. Yes, she is mad. (Blind Gossip)

Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling, obviously. If Ryan Gosling left Eva Mendes while she was 7 months knocked up with his baby, his fangirls would all say, “Awwww, I knew he’d do the right thing. I didn’t think I could love him anymore.” But if anybody else did that, they’d scream, “Send him dick first through the grinder!“

This beautiful young singer/actress installed a couple of plastic domes high on her chest. Why? Because her on-again off-again boyfriend repeatedly told her that “No guy likes itty bitty titties!” Yes, he is very mature.

So she got implants. She now looks more like the hookers he tends to favor and he is texting her again, so… mission accomplished?

Those implants are not the only things that are too high. Her doctor told her that she could not use cocaine for 72 hours before the surgery. She didn’t abstain the entire time, but she came pretty close. Unfortunately, that only strengthened her belief that she doesn’t need rehab… and she went right back to using. (Blind Gossip)

Selena Gomez? Justin Bieber really didn’t think this through, because now that her tits are supposedly bigger, how is he going to chichi fuck her with his Ikea dowel dick? Smart move, Biebs.